Last Night.

I'm laying on the couch watching King of the Hill & texting one of the new buds. As I am about to respond to a very SERIOUS question ;) My phone rings & look who it is: Ex Con. Ugh. I had been ignoring his calls ALL day so this was a bit much. For one, it was like 430am.. So of course he asks the usually questions you ask when you don't know what to talk about-- and soon states that he wants to come see me. I say, Come see me & do what? Clearly it has to be sexually related if a guy wants to see you early morning/late night. He says just to talk & to see if i'm really "ready for him". Excuse me sir- the line "you not ready for me" only worked in High school on silly girls who believe anything a dumb dumb says. Mmmkay. So where was I? Oh yeah so I said umm anyways.. He asks if I'm tired cuz I sound it- No, My back hurts.. He then says "well if i come over I can fix that.." Now see, I'm skilled in lines and deciphering what they mean so I automatically knew in the back of my head what he would say- he'd give a massage. So as I'm rolling my eyes I ask "How?".. Guess what this nigga says; "With whipped cream". Hell no. After about 10secs of simply chuckling, I say Boy Bye & hang up. WHAT a lame..