Riri 3.4

When i'm bored.. I take pics with my lil sister. This time we decided to wear bright red lipstick. Now you know i'm a bit slow with makeup trends.. I'm still into heavy eyeliner & mascara ONLY.. maybe a lil foundation if we're going out and always CARMEX-- lipgloss only on "special" occasions. So yes. lipstick?? Worn it like 3 times my whole life. I kinda like it.. Idk if i can wear it daily but you know.. Felt like channeling my inner rhianna. I'm obviously WAYYYYY more curvier than she is but what can i say.. I feel her. lol

3 little words.

i love listening to love songs. ive never been in love though.
I only imagine how it would feel for a girl like me to be in love.
I never really heard the words, you know those three words, from a guy who really meant it.
I mean, a few have uttered it but I don't believe them.
I remember HE said it during sex.. but i think he meant to say IT instead of YOU.
Then he said it-- college. freshman year. Well maybe he meant it.. hmmm..
We were arguing. I was going off about something as always. Running my mouth.
I was upset.. I just wanted to leave. Too much too soon of course.
But then he grabbed he my face and turned it towards his.
He looked deeply into my eyes, I stared back into his.
And then he said it. Those three words.
It caught be by surprise.
I didnt know just what to say or how to react or what to do.
should i say it back?
Should i just stare at him?
should i just cry.
I really wanted to cry.
Too much too soon.
I said it back just to keep his feelings under wraps.
I didn't mean it. I liked him. Not that other word.
He didn't mean it, i thought.
but im sure he did..
I wonder if he still does..
I wonder if he still cares..
I wonder if i ever will.. you know.
say those three words & mean it.

oh.

This is why people scream "Oooh your hair would be sooo pretty if you just flat iron it out or something.." So I straighten my bangs and they say, "OOh you got GOOOOD hair!! I aint know you had hair like that" cuz you know the fro looks vicious :)

So I do this to show that yes. My bangs are pretty. Thats about it. I prefer the fro... Why? Because Its impossible for the back to get straight. I mean it will but it looks shitty. Busted. and NOT silky. Even though only a cowash and skinny serum is on my head daily. smh YOu want proof? well take a gander. You see this? Its all one big poof. Humidity hates curly hair. I use sooo many products to get it to LAY down but it just sticks STRAIGHT up when I flat iron or press. I do a curl? Well this is the curl. STRAIHT up, LIFTED roots, then curled ends. At least I have body.

This is why i prefer the fro. :)

no style.

Everyone always tells me I have to look "fierce" now that i have my frohawk. Like dress the part. Umm Do you want me to dress like my hair. I'm talkin Olsen twins ish. Or some african ish. Idk. I dont care. clothes dont excite me. Nothing excites me. but paint does. I love it. I wish i could make my own clothes. Tomorrow I'm wearing a Brittney original. No glitz or anything. Just something that I like to wear. My dress. My ish. My style. Not something that somebody else says is hot. Ummm i have no reason to walk around Huntsville like I'm walking the streets of NY & LA where paparazzi is lurking. NOBODY is lookin for me. I wear my work clothes. Long shorts/jeans & a beater/plain shirt. Thats me. its comfy. I'm not here to impress everyone with my style. I dont want some guy to take me shopping. I dont care about clothes.. Everything that I see its not MY style. Fuck it. You want me to pretend ima superstar? I shall. Tomorrow. Mini dress. Big Shades. Juicy Fro. AND Boots in summer. Booooooyahh

I wasnt even trying to be like everyone with my frohawk. i just wanted my hair braided up.

I have to do something to it other than wear it ALLL over my head. smh oh well

B stands for Brittney

I don't do diddly at work. I just play. My favorite activity? Arts & Crafts!! Honestly just do whatever activity they do. Check em out. This is my B. Bee Book. LOVE the colors? I do.. Let me design your candles :)

This is a SELF portrait. I'm no artist

Some shit pisses me off. I was thinking bout all the bad stuff that happened to me when I was younger. And i tried to tell but i couldn't. Im still embarrassed to this day. Even though I know its common. Even though I know it happened to other ppl i know. It still hurts me.

I know its the reason why I can't move on. I probably won't ever. I'm going to tell somebody though.