I Wish..

I wish that I weren't so emotional. I wish that I could take away all of the pain that flows through my veins. I wish that I could make you feel the way I feel. I wish that I could make you feel the way I FEEL. I wish that you could hear me out. I wish that you would listen. I wish that you didnt take everything I say as a joke..
Its my own fault I'm sure. I would always say something serious and then laugh it off like I was just playing around when I wasn't. I'd always pretend that those little things didn't matter and that I was adult enough to handle those situations alone, but I'm not. I can't do this alone. I don't call you just because I'm bored. I call you because I want to know that you're okay. Is that too much to ask for? Hearing your voice is all I wanted and you made it like I wanted something else. Its my own fault I'm sure. Back then I pretended like I didn't care. I pretended that I only wanted one thing too. I'd hit you up on some "Aye, I'm horny.. Whats up?" type shit and now whenever I hit you up you think thats all I want. Not true. I hid my true motives behind the sex. Masked my emotions with sex. Now I must pay the price. You told me you loved me twice. I said it three times. Four times. You never said that again. Wish I wasn't in love with you..