Henna Part Two

One of my friend commented that my curl pattern looks different now since I've henna'd.. I feel like investigating.

PRE-HENNA (MANIPULATED/OLD TWIST OUT)

this is my hair BEFORE henna.. 2 day old dry twist out..

You can't see my curl pattern because ONE; it's really dry & TWO; it's been manipulated by a twist out.

PRE HENNA (NO MANIPULATION/WASH-N-GO)

See my curls? This is my true curl pattern. :)

I still have the same curls that spiral out from the side of my head.. and of course the front part of my hair (bangs & ish) hang down in my face and are loosely curled giving me that Michael Jackson BAD era look. 

HENNA HAIR (WASH-N-GO)

See the curl patterns are still the same! My hair is just usually dry.. or 2-3 day old hair. 

I only manipulate my hair and comb out the curls because i have some strands that are extremely coily like corkscrews while others are more loose and wavy.. *sigh*

My First Trial with Henna

On Sunday I tried henna for the first time. I scoured youtube, curlynikki, hair for henna, butters-n-bars and wherever google led me for Days until I decided on what exactly to mix with my henna. I decided to take a bit of each process and pray for the best from the hair gods. Here's my henna cocktail:

100mg of Egyptian Red Henna (butters-n-bars.com)
Lemon Juice
Green Tea
Purified Water

In a sauce pan i made the green tea using lemon juice instead of water. Don't ask me why but I figured that since they were going to be used together, i could "boil" them together. I followed the instructions of the green tea by the box (minus the water usage). After the tea was made, I let itcool for a few minutes and then added it to my mixing bowls of henna. :) unfortunately, it wasn't quite wet enough so I poured lemon juice until it became more muddy. Then I stirred.. after awhile i saw that it still wasn't up to my standards so i added 1/4 cup of purified water to the mixture (+/- a few) until it was the consistency I saw on every youtube video. :) Then I covered the bowls with my good ol' saran wrap and placed them on top of the fridge and went to bed.  About 8hrs or so later (probably 12hrs.. who knows) I woke up and saw that the henna changed colors! Yay!!! It worked. Wooooo! I did the hand test and left the henna in my palm for a few mins, wiped clean and saw the orange spot of success. :) I then began the arduous process of applying the henna to my hair.

I'm not very good when it comes to hair ish.. Once gloved I began to slather my head with the henna as if I was applying a relaxer (lol) it was very nostalgic besides theres was no burn or tingle on my scalp. I noticed that I slung pieces of henna all over the bathroom. One massive glob fell to the floor which my sister stepped in and thought that it was dog poo. gross. Even got some on the rug *sigh*.. It didn't take long for me to apply the henna since my hair isn't really thick.. and my strands are about average. I still asked for my sister's assistance to wrap my hair in the saran wrap.. :) I noticed that I had a bit more henna left (bc of my thin tresses) and decided to apply the rest to my sister's hair! It was a nice, fun process even though she's relaxed. ** My sister had relaxed her hair about 3wks prior. Her hair was also dyed black a few months earlier so her roots were growing in BROWN**

4hrs pass by and I decide to rinse out the henna from Sister's hair first. It took about 3 runs under a stream of water to get most of the henna out. I then applied Aussie Moist conditioner with a bit of EVOO added it to her hair just because and let it sit for 5 mins.. Rinsed. Then applied more conditioner by itself, rinsed.. and finally after about 5-6 rinses, the little flecks of henna were finally out. She then blow dried her hair straight and revealed that she now had red tinted bangs.. and the back of her hair looked striped. Being the 15year old that she is, she thought that this two toned hair was the COOLEST thing ever! All of her friends at school wanted to know how she only dyed her roots and not the tips. ;)

I left the henna on my hair about 5hrs since I spent the majority of that time dealing with my sister. Before the henna came off you could already see that my hair was turning ORANGE.. Eek! I did the same process to my hair as I did my sister's minus the blowdrying.. I let my hair dry for the rest of the day and wore a head band as usual... 4 days later i cowashed my hair. The orange had toned down ALOT and I loved the color!!!
My hair was very moisturized. My curls have never looked this amazing without product. The next day I actually used Kinky Curly Curling Custard and it wasn't even sticky!!! I'm thinking KCCC likes henna'd hair more than my dry tresses.

--The smell of henna. It smells like fresh dirt with a mix of freshly cut grass. Not really stinky but very outdoorsy..

More pics soon :)

dry hair.. *sigh*

you can see how thin my hair really is.. its just ridiculously curly. lol. you can kinda see my roots/scalp

My Temporary Fix

You should know that you're just a TEMPORARY fix. This is not rooted with you, it don't mean that much to me. You're just a FILLER in the space that happened to be free.. How DARE you think you'd get away with trying to PLAY me.


Now, I thought that I had something for a minute. A brief minute. I knew that it was nothing but I felt like it could have been more. The bad thing about it is that I actually did feel that way. I needed something, and I got it but now its blah. Its not as great as it once was. Still no satisfaction. Ugh. 


Such a fucking temporary fix. I'm glad I have something better. Just takes time. Why must it be so far away? Sadly, there is no competition though that is what one may think. The best is the best. This just doesn't compare. Understand? 


Like the meaner you treat me the more eager I am
To persist with this heartbreak and running around


I'm too damn old for this shit.

Bee & Her Fro...

Peep the cheap boots.. sweater dress.. zebra print purse..  leg propped up on the dash.. grabbing a fist full of hair.. saddest thing is that I was singing "Make It Rain". *sigh* Whenever I hear "You wanna see some ass, i feel compelled to show a lil hip and thigh (which is visible in the pic as well).

oh notice the hair. dry twist out.. 

Trashy & the Tranny

Yall want to hear drama. I will GIVE you the drama. Unfortunately its the same little fake eyebrows having, tranny lookin, stalkerish, obsessed & delusional heffa who has a baby by that guy I was involved with in hs (you know the one whose car got keyed??) Anywho, so this heffa works with my brother's girlfriend & feels the need to discuss me and MY business whenever she gets the chance to breathe. If its not one thing its another..

It would be totally okay if she wasn't saying such outlandish and untrue things. So apparently I dyed my hair brown to look like her sister... huh?? Bee has never dyed her hair brown. And if you really wanna take it there, I've been coloring her hair (with rinses & semi permanent dyes of course) since I was 16... around the same time I was with the lame ass nigga that she's taking care of now. OOP. She has also says I wear alot of makeup to work and her and Duce see me everytime they come to my job. Oh did I say a name? Hahahaha.

Also she claims that my brother is very good friends with Duce -____-. She also felt the need to say that I got his number from someone else... but I mean my number has been the same since 2004. He's had my number since 2005. Of course he'll still know it by heart. Of course he'll still call me. Of course you making him change his number will NOT change this tidbit at all. Sad, sad girl.

But I never discuss her. I never say anything about her life because it doesn't concern me. She likes to call me broke yet her car got repossessed & she got evicted. OOP. She has three kids and only half ass takes care of one of em. OOP. I could report her ass for getting high & smoking around her kids (yes the baby too) but nahhh.. Aint gonna do that.

I think she's just a fan of mine. She probably wants to fuck me too. My name is always in her mouth. Unfortunately I'm not into girls.. and even if I were she's sooo not attractive to me at all. I hope she knows that he just hooks up with whoever will let him lay up with them. Only thing he can do for me is use the tongue  but I wouldn't even let him do that. Trashy ass. Please, he's a pothead. Broke ass nigga. Childish ass. Child molester. Dirty. Liar. Both of them need to find a new hobby... but obsessing over me will hold them over until they do.

El Fin.

Twelve Midnight

Need I say how I feel right now? I think you get the picture. I have a plan to woohoo in the morning before I go to work.. I think. I hate mornings. I wanted to plan something for spring break but i realized that I'm a new worker. Grrrr... Megan wanted me to go to Vegas or Miami with her. SMH. I can't though. I promised that my next flight would be to NYC by any means necessary. I gotta see the homie.lover.friend... or whatever he is now. He has to see my new boobs. Oh, Did i tell you guys that I have big boobs now?

Yea, 34D. Not only do I have cakes & yams.. I have pillows too. :)

Is it bad that I'd fly to ny for some great sex and awesome conversation? I don't care.. Obviously been missing out on some goodness. *sigh* I'm a ticking time bomb right now......

Speaking of sex..

Peace.

LOVE? And other feelings..

What is this thing called LOVE? 

Can anyone answer this simple question for me?? How do you know if you truly love someone? If someone asks you WHY you love them, & you have nothing to say does it mean you really don't love them? 

I'm a bit confused. I don't know how I feel or if what I'm feeling is "really real". Maybe I'm just tired of being alone so I'm forcing my mind to think my heart is feeling something that isn't there. Maybe I'm faking it. Maybe. Idk.

We kissed tonight. First time this year. It felt like old times. He was just like "Give me a kiss before you leave..." and of course I didn't oblige. I'm not a real fan of kissing but his kisses are different. I yearn for them. I go back for more... 

It started out as a simple closed mouth kissed then slowly his lips parted & mine did as his.. and quickly turned passionate.It was sweet though. That one kiss brought back a barrage of memories and feelings that I buried long ago; or at least I thought I did. I love him, I think. Me and him kinda felt right for a moment.. 

We talked about stupid shit. He stared at me for awhile talking about certain facial features I possess. And then I... Well thats's the end of that. The rest shall remain unwritten.

I LOVE My Face

My face is like perfection. I absolutely love it. Of course I look like my parents but not quite. No one looks like me. My eyes are perfectly shaped and almost too far apart. I love them. Also, I was in Sephora the day before NYE & this worker stopped me and gushed about my lips. First my lipstick then my actually lips. She said they looked as if an artist spent months to perfectly paint them on my face. Best compliment ever :)

New Year, New Hair

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did i blog about my hair?? Well i straightened it on New Years Eve..

Of course I got tired and stopped half-way through which is why the back is so puffy. smh

Luckily it has grown a it. finally past my shoulders *big smile* the only problem? Its so frizzy. That's what I get for living in Texas.

In the matter of 5mins of picture taking the silky straight tresses decided to shrink & puff up. grrr... 

 Last night I decided to twist my hair (while dry). My hair already had a lil product in it from my wash the day before and the wash n go look is sooo not for my hair anymore (especially in winter)

So after I twisted my hair I added a bit of my gel. I've used cantu sheabutter gel bc its sold at walmart and i get 10% off (cheap). The leave in is a bit blah but the gel is awesome. Awesome hold. No flakes. Hair is still soft.

My previous attempts with the dry twist outs were disastrous because I tried to be like Miss Curly Nikki and my friend Megan and make chunky twists.. but MY hair is thin. So i did medium/small twists. I had less than 20 in my head though. I originally planned on leaving my twists on until Friday but Ididn't like how I looked with them this morning. 

lemme toot my horn for a minute. my face is amazing. you see my eyes & mouth?

 This twist out actually looked like perfect little ringlets. I was amazed. so much that I did my ghetto girl face when i pulled out a curl. Woot. Dry Twist Outs > Wet Twist Outs.. (unless you leave the twists in for a couple of weeks).

A Dream

When I was little I always had this same dream... Its starts out with me noticing someone from across the room. I think he's really attractive and I want to meet him but when I begin to get close to him, he suddenly goes away. The rest of the dream involves me chasing him down just trying to see his face. The dream usually stopped after I caught up to him and am about to see his face. Usually I trip and fall to my death or something. Once, I thought I caught him and he turned around but it was the wrong guy. Another time I fell to my death--- but I didn't die because when I hit the ground I just got back up and began to run some more after this guy. I never found him.

I did crazy things to get to this guy too. I was jumping down flights of stairs. Running across the tops of buildings. Like real fearless shit. Once I think the guy even noticed me chasing him and he still continued to run. Sometimes he wouldn't even run... He would just walk at a normal pace but I still couldn't move fast enough. smh.

Now that dream has a bit more significance to me. I get it now. Chasing after goals that even I don't really believe I can reach.. and if I am ever able to reach it, something happens to me where it doesn't matter anymore or it turns out to be something that I don't want.

I'm Single... Still.

I'm Single.. Still single that is. Very single. Like, not even close to being in a relationship. I don't even talk to any guys right now. Hell, I really don't even care about my disastrous nonexistent love life for once in my life. Things are the way they should be. I've accepted the fact that I've got this weird tendency to chase after guys that I know don't want to be committed to me or that really think I'm 100% psycho. Eh, whatever. I actually thought about not being as crazy just to see how it would work out with someone but I've finally realized that... that shit is for the birds.  I am merely a shell of myself if I eliminate my so called crazy trait. I'm so boring. I don't feel like myself anymore.

I don't know where that came from. Everyone is trying to change me back to the old me or change me into someone totally different.. but I don't want to change. I just want to live my LIFE.

I am NOT changing. I will never change. Fuck.

Im sorry. My blog is such a bore now. I never write about shit. No rendezvous. No crazy antics. No witty commentary. No nothing. I've let you down. I'll get back on it soon. Just wait. I just need to... exhale.

Dramz of Course

I'm just so tired of it all. You have no idea how drained I have been. All I want to do is work and have a good time by myself. *sigh*

So many half ass written blog entries that probably won't ever be seen by anyone other than me. Love letters devoted to loves that never were and never will be. Tears that won't be shed. Just.... I don't know.

You'd think that super single me wouldn't have guy drama but inevitably my past still haunts me. I'm still being blamed for breaking up "happy homes". Hmmmm, I think we shall explore this further..

Once upon a time, I made the mistake for falling for an older man. I was 15 about to turn 16 and he was 21. In the end, I was used, lied to and got myself in a LOT of drama that no teenage girl should be involved with. Fast forward to now.. that same guy somehow finds his way back into my life. The plot thickens though. He is now involved with the older sister of one of my closest friends. She tries to use a fake friendship between us to get information about his first baby mama-- the one i had ALL the drama with. She invites me over to their apartment and while she's in the bathroom or has her head turned he's blowing kisses my way and telling me to call him. He's also CALLING me every chance he gets. But hey I mean, can you blame him? She finds out and accuses me of being a fake friend and now feels the need to tell the whole world how I'm trying to take her man. I let the shit go. I move on. It doesn't end just there. She begins to lie to my brother's girlfriend about me.. Basically she becomes obsessed with me. She even comes up to my job to see if i'm working or not. Hahaha. How pathetic can you get?! She also makes her "man" change his number so I won't be able to contact him.. Unfortunately he still has my number memorized and decides to call me private all the damn time. I constantly tell him to STOP calling but he doesn't listen.

Whew. I tried to condense like 5 years of nonsense into a ball of blabber jabber. Oh but wait there's more.

but I'll save that for another time. Just know that I have so much drama in my life. I just want to be happy & alone. Why can't these hoes leave me alone???

Drake - Fancy