Dear Whitney Kimball

Dear Whitney Kimball, 

Fuck you. Yes.. FUCK YOU and fuck every other white woman who decides to write a think piece every single time Beyoncé posts a pic on Instagram. As soon as she dropped her pregnancy announcement, you were upset because it was "over the top" and "she isn't the first person to get pregnant". When she dropped the first pics of her twin blessings you once again scolded Beyoncé for making having twins look too glamorous and perfect. 

Now, this bored white woman named Whitney has decided to say that Beyoncé ruined roller skating. Why you ask? Well, Beyoncé uploaded a video to Instagram yesterday with the song Caroline by Aminé playing on a loop. More specifically the lines "she's a bad thing, fine as hell, thick as fuck..." since she's sporting a thicker body since delivering the twins in June. She's a bad thing, not roller skating Whitney! You're so dumb, Whitney! I swear, you white women are all so jealous of everything Beyoncé does. Any mediocre Sarah can post a million pics and videos of her twins Tanner and Paisley and you wouldn't bat an eye. You'd praise her for being some rare super mom for merely breathing. Now let Beyoncé post anything that you deem as perfect and she's immediately put on the chopping block. 

No one is going to explain anything to you, stupid Whitney, because you white women are obsessed with Black women simply existing. You don't understand the video because it wasn't for you to understand. It wasn't even hard for anyone with a slice of knowledge on music and pop culture to understand but you Whitney's are impossible to reach 🤦🏾‍♀️

Fuck you. Fuck every white Woman who decides to write a think piece about any mother just doing what 99% of mothers do on social media-- post pics of themselves and their kids. Can she breathe? Goddamn! 

Whitney Kimball, please kiss Beyoncé's perfectly round ass skating backwards. Suck on her perfectly orchestrated videos with pics of her hands and Black Magic tee. Get a big whiff of how she's embracing her seemingly normal SnapBack body post body (because she still has a stomach and wayyy more cake-- but you know since she was always in shape her body looks flawless even when it's flawed because she's Beyoncé and you're just a hater bitch)

Fuck you Whitney Kimball and stop being such a hater bitch. And fuck Jezebel for publishing that trash ass article. Please, let's give anyone a fuckin byline. 

Love, 

A Loving Beyhive Member who is fed up with White Women hating Beyoncé for being the bad bitch that she is. 

So I tried the Diva Cup

I have never been a fan of pads. I thought it was gross to be sitting in blood all day. So I went to tampons fairly early. Yet still there were issues with leaks and after reading the insert in the box on toxic shock syndrome-- I was terrified. Wtf was I inserting inside my vagina monthly?? Buying multiple sizes. Not knowing if I was still in my heavy flow stage or if a regular absorbency would suffice. Running to change my tampon every couple of hours so I won't have leaks because it's difficult to take multiple breaks when you work at a prison (so glad those days are over). It was just a hassle. So last year I had a last minute trip planned for the weekend to visit my bae... and my period came outta nowhere. So I googled how to get it to end earlier and it all worked but I ended up buying some indeed softcups to use during sex because I was definitely getting the dick that weekend! $600 flight? Oh bitch. And guess what they worked MAGICALLY. And were disposable. 😅😅😅 Crisis averted. Period sex can happen... But this ain't about those softcups. This is about...

The Diva Cup. 

I'm sure you've seen the commercials and thought "why would I stick that inside myself l?" Or are just freaking out about something foreign-- as if tampons and dicks are any less foreign, but no need for the dramatics. Your pussy will love you after this. 

So tips. Make sure you insert the cup properly. The box and website both include instructions on insertion that you must follow in order to have a pleasant experience. The magical trick is to rotate the cup 360 degrees to create a suction. This prevents leaks. If you don't... you might have a crime scene in your panties. 🤷🏾‍♀️ 

Pros-

• No smell. Yea... you can't smell anything while the cup is inside. I know! How amazing. 

• Can keep the cup inside for up to 12hrs. This means you can sleep 😴 with it. Take a very long flight without having to change it. Very convenient. Your life doesn't have to pause because you need to change your tampon. Very handy if there's not a restroom nearby. 

• saves you money! Now the website suggested retail price is $39.99 BUT since I fucks with Amazon prime--- You can get the Diva Cup for $23.88. Boom. Free shipping with Prime. Get it. Save your coins. And it lasts about a year... maybe longer but $20 a year vs $9 for a box of tamping every month or so. 

• Shorter Cycle. Since all of the blood is freely flowing into the cup and NOT being plugged inside it appears that my period is a day shorter. Idk why. Or how. But yea girl. From 5 days to 4.

Cons

• You can't have sex. If you want to have mess free sex while on your period, try Indeed Softcups. 

• You have to empty it out and clean it yourself. Yea I know some of you are like gross blood- I have to clean it out then insert it again?! Yup. You do. Which is why I've only changed it out at home. I guess if you're out and about you could use a wipe or something but I'd just plan to be back home in 12hrs. 

• Insertion can be difficult. You have to fold it in have and make sure your grip is firm enough so the darn cup doesn't open up like an umbrella 🌂 against my labia and freaks me out because I'm trying to push the whole thing inside and it just won't fit 🤦🏾‍♀️ I have to be sitting on the edge of my bed in order to put the cup in. Maybe you can do it while squatting or propping a leg up on the toilet but the way my thighs are set up--- yea, I need to brace myself. 

That's really it. It's comfortable as hell. I forgot I was on my period. Not really having cramping. Not fearing about having all those toxic chemicals in tampons inside my vagina. Oh and the Diva Cup has lines for measuring the amount of fluid inside the cup. It holds up to 1/2 oz and I've noticed on my heavier days I'm just under the 1/4 oz line after 12hrs. The first day was literally half of that. It's really cool to be able to measure how much blood you lose each cycle. 

Try it out. Lemme know if you're joining the club. Or share your horror stories. 

Shameful Curves

I have been groomed to be ashamed of my body.

For as long as I remember, my body was sexualized by men- young & old. I was taught that I had to cover up because men could not control themselves and I was doing something to entice them.

Then as I grew older I realized that it became more of a race issue. Lets go back to the years 2004-2007. My High School Years. When my rebellious fire became lit from within.

There was a silly dress code that said that all shorts, skirts, culottes - what have you must at least be fingertip length. Simple right? Wrong. This began a series of unfortunate events. I remember wearing skirts ALL the time.. because I loved them. And I was harassed every single time. One day I was forced to stand outside in the hallway while two caucasian teachers debated if my skirt was long enough. I stood tall & proudly extended my arms down the length of my torso until they stopped a centimeter or two above the hem of my skirt. It was fingertip length. There shouldn't be any problems, right? Wrong. "Well look at the back" said one caucasian teacher. "It looks shorter back here." "Yea, I know its fingertip length but it just doesn't look appropriate." "Yea.. you shouldn't be allowed to wear this again." Wait what? You mean because I have a little butt back there and long legs, the rules don't apply to me? So you're really telling me-- a straight A student who never causes any disruptions in class that certain clothes look inappropriate on her EVEN though they were well within dresscode? Hmmmm.... And I'd see white girls wear even shorter skirts and no one barely made a peep. Why? Because they generally didn't have an ass. Oh but excuse me for being black. Shaming my curves before I even had REAL ones.

The same thing happens today. Black women at my job are told AS SOON as we walk in the door for training that it is in our best interest to buy a smock or kill guard to cover our bodies so that we aren't showing the offenders our bodies. White women don't have to. No one tells them that they should wear smocks. Funny that even at 26 I have the same problems with my damn curves. Crazy that I actually wouldn't mind wearing a smock but just because I have an ok shape, I must cover it up because it is attractive to men. Forget the fact that I am a woman and most men who haven't seen a woman in years would be attracted to my ass.. No. You have hips and an ass. Cover it up. Really??? Ok.

Spring 2012

As you can see, i've attempted to go BLONDE this year. Details soon. :)

 when you run out of shot glasses, just use measuring cups -____- #ratchet

my curls still here. Shrinkage still a bitch tho.

#BirthdayCake

Blow outs = LOVE

Bikini Bottom.

just moved into my new apartment. ecstatic. Also, been working out & dieting... You can see the progress. Yay! I'm literally at the pool blogging because I haven't set up my internet yet. I'm really happy right now. My hair is BIG and awesome.. I'm still tweeting my life away... I have started back living for ME! and I'm happy. Oh did I tell you guys I got my nipples pierced?? yea.. i did.. Worst pain ever. They aren't completely healed just yet... Anywho. Enjoy. Peace.

I'm Single.. And On the Road to Becoming Happy

Yes, I'm single. I've been single for awhile. I don't mind at all though. I'm finally about to do what single women are supposed to.. HAVE fun. I'm starting my hardcore summer diet again after memorial day.. I've somewhat been doing it but I haven't jumped in head first yet. I've lost 10lbs without noticing it. People are noticing that I'm slimming down... I really wasn't trying to lose weight. I just don't like having so much ass that I can't wear the things I want without looking like a whore.. Or that my stomach is flabby. I just want to be Healthy. I'm no longer sick.. I can smell again. I need to get back on my grind.
I move next week. I'm starting school soon. I just need to get back to the Brittney I've missed. I HAVE to be the person that I'm not right now. :) So that you'll see that Bee is awesome.

Twelve Midnight

Need I say how I feel right now? I think you get the picture. I have a plan to woohoo in the morning before I go to work.. I think. I hate mornings. I wanted to plan something for spring break but i realized that I'm a new worker. Grrrr... Megan wanted me to go to Vegas or Miami with her. SMH. I can't though. I promised that my next flight would be to NYC by any means necessary. I gotta see the homie.lover.friend... or whatever he is now. He has to see my new boobs. Oh, Did i tell you guys that I have big boobs now?

Yea, 34D. Not only do I have cakes & yams.. I have pillows too. :)

Is it bad that I'd fly to ny for some great sex and awesome conversation? I don't care.. Obviously been missing out on some goodness. *sigh* I'm a ticking time bomb right now......

Speaking of sex..

Peace.

I LOVE My Face

My face is like perfection. I absolutely love it. Of course I look like my parents but not quite. No one looks like me. My eyes are perfectly shaped and almost too far apart. I love them. Also, I was in Sephora the day before NYE & this worker stopped me and gushed about my lips. First my lipstick then my actually lips. She said they looked as if an artist spent months to perfectly paint them on my face. Best compliment ever :)

Purple Shirt & Hot Fries

Girl Scout shirt from 1999??  I still wear it...

titties. i have titties now. 

seeeee!

i tried to flat iron my hair.. & it rained. this is what happened. *sigh* 

I love hot fries. Chester's are the BEST.

I'm Just Me..

If I listened to everyone who said something didnt look good on me, I'd be anorexic and have multiple body parts injected with silicone. How many times do we hear people telling us what we should wear or how we should act or how much better we'd look if we changed certain things about ourselves. Why can't we be happy as we are? Why can't other people let us be happy as we are? Why do we have to fit into a certain mold that even the girls in the magazines don't fit into? 

I'm just me. Either you're gonna accept the afro, or you're gone. You'll love me with my stretch marks, flawed skin, toneless body, -- flaws & all! If you can't accept me as I am you don't deserve me. 

How To Make Your Butt Look Bigger In Pics

You don't need booty pop. You don't need butt injections. You don't need surgery. You just need to know how to work your angles. Tyra taught me well. I like to make my butt appear smaller so I tend to extend one leg a bit past the other in pics. To make my butt look bigger AND my waist smaller I arch my back; legs together; chest out & toot the booty. This works if you have on loose flowing dresses.

In a form-fitting dress its somewhat the opposite. If you extend the legs too far it will appear that your butt is BIGGER. 

If you're wearing a tight dress I recommend you take all pics straight on just so your butt is NOT in the shot (If you don't want all attention on your donk. If you don't care, profile flicks are the best). Of course your hips are but no huge booty. To create a waist straight on in a photo put hands slightly above the hips & cross legs like myself in the photo below.

If you want to make your hips appear bigger just poke them out to one side. works like a charm. Exaggerated poses are key :)

You don't need surgery. You just have to know how to work with what you've got. 

Detachable Vagina Part 2

No but seriously.. I REALLY wish I could just take out my vagina WHENEVER I felt like she wasn't beneficial to me or when she became a nuisance. Today would be a GREAT time to detach my uterus and put it somewhere safe.

BooBee?

I haven't blogged in forever & a day it seems. Sorry. I know you guys have missed me. So what is new in the wonderful world of Bee? Well Im still working out religiously and doing this diet ish.. Unfortunately the memo hasn't made it to my boobs. I've noticed that none of my bras fit. I was getting side AND underboob.. Sometimes top boob. Well ladies & gentlemen, I am now a freaking 36C. I know.. That's not really that big to you guys but for the girl who could barely wear an A cup well through her first semester of College, A freakin C is amaze-ON! I just got new bras yesterday. No more under or side boob and my boobees dont spill out when I bend over. Greatness.

Alterations?? *giggles*

remember these??

Now take a gander at this:

Apparently I "alter" my pics.. Nah. I just have ass unlike some. And hips. & seemingly 'good' genetics so that even if i do gain a few lbs, its pretty much distributed evenly throughout my body instead of accumulating on my midsection.