PSA

I think many of you have it twisted.. I'm not single because no guy wants me. I can direct you to the handful that I have turned down this year alone. Unlike many of you, I don't just get with a guy because he's cute & buys me shit. I know who & what I want & won't settle for less. So until I find someone who meets the qualifications, I will be single. El fin.

Don't feel sorry for me, or try to tell me why I'm single. You don't know me or the conversations I have with guys. You don't know how I try to be a FRIEND before I jump in a relationship with someone. I don't want to waste my time with a guy who I cannot even have a two minute conversation with. Tis all.

Attention Seekers

I made the mistake of clicking on someone's formspring & finding a few questions in my 'inbox'. Well unfortunately, it was one that called me an attention seeker. The actual question was:

So how muchu like to seek for attention like its really sad that u do da most jus ppl can respound to ur stupid action.....grow up and stop being a slut....mand u neva gonna get a relationship because u are fucking crazy smh #datsall


Now, I normally would've deleted it but I felt the need to address this issue. Yes, I tweet about sex, smoking, drinking, head etc.. I tweet about politics, music, life, books & everything else as well. I tweet & blog to express myself, not for attention. If I really wanted attention I'd put on some booty short or my shortest, tightest dress- highest heels and go out to a club or something. This internet shit was NEVER for attention. I've been blogging for years. I just need an outlet to express myself at times. I can't just call up my friend or text her ALL of my random thoughts or rants. She'd get fed up with me, as I would with her or anyone else who did that.

The slut comment? Well I mean it is what it is. I like sex. I talk about it quite frequently.. Whether its about me getting it, not getting any or pleasing myself. Some may say this is the reason why I'm single but I was single when I was a virgin. I was single when I never talked about sex. I was single before I got on twitter. I was single before I started this blog. I NEVER talked about sex until quite recently. Read my earlier posts. They are all about love & relationships or music. Or my day.

None of the guys who I am pursuing read this damn blog or follow me on twitter. The one guy who does read my blog that I know about doesn't really mind my sex talk because the majority of them are directed towards him.

& My favorite comment: You're fucking crazy. I've been called crazy forever. I don't see it. I know who wrote this fucking comment. The damn Jamaican. He claims he didn't but its plagued with bad grammar & thats exactly how his bitch ass writes shit. I don't see why any person, him or anyone, would be upset at me because I seem to seek attention. Half of the time I'm writing to myself. I live in my head. If you don't like it- fuck you. I don't beg people to read my blog on twitter or my facebook or to reply to me. This is MY outlet. My place to express myself. Step your grammar up before you step to me. I will verbally assassinate you. El fin.

My Birthday O'clock

My birthday rolls around twice a day. My birthday o'clock that is. I celebrate everyday at 9:16am & 9:16pm (My actual birthday is September 16- 9/16. Thats where I get the numbers from). I know, weird huh? But it's something that I do. I'm obsessed with numbers & patterns so that may be why I do it. I don't know when I started doing it either.. If you ever hear someone screaming out its my birthday o'clock its probably me or one of my friends. :):)

ATL or Bust

I bet I bust.... If i don't go to ATL. Or bust when I get there. I need to get there. My hun bun is graduating. I wanna see him before he goes to NY. My bitch is going to be in boot camp all summer. I need to see her before then. I just really miss my ATL people. I just wanna hang & bang.. swang.. All that good ish. I need to really spell check these posts before I publish them. I just corrected two grammatical errors whilst writing.. & there are probably a whole lot more. Any who, If you'd like to give me money for my plane tickets, just hit me up & I'll give you the paypal. I LOVE you guys soo much. lol. Hopefully my back account will be replenished by next week *sigh*

Slang & Bang

smh.. can't do it.


I feel like they should do this 'dick slang' dance to this song though *giggles*

Dear Drizzy,

So I kind of like your new song. I think you should be on an exotic beach with a beautiful girl wearing white frolicking in the sand. Chasing her. You do like to chase women huh? You're my motivation to workout now. Why? Because in my head I see myself being in your video with my big curls blowing in the wind (i guess thats weave  smh) and you're splashing me in the ocean. Oh yes, I had a dream about this because I listened to "Find Your Love" before I went to sleep.

Love, Bee.

Find Your Love

Second single from Thank Me Later dropped tonight. What do you think?? It was produced by Kanye West.

From the Mind of Bee

This is actually from a note I wrote on facebook back in 2008. Enjoy :)

OK SO BACKGROUND INFO ON THIS NOTE.. ONE DAY ME AND EMCEE WERE TALKIN BOUT RANDOM ISH LIKE ALWAYS AND I DECIDED TO COME UP WITH A VERY EDUCATED ANSWER TO A VERY SIMPLE QUESTION. WITH THIS CAME MY JUSTIFICATION FOR THE TWO TATTOOS THAT I HAVE..
THE HALF-BUTTERFLY ON MY SHOULDER BLADE AND THE 3 STARS ON MY ANKLE. EVERYONE IS ALWAYS LIKE "YOUR TATTOOS DON'T HAVE MEANINGS.. BLAH BLAH BLAH" HECK YES THEY DO.. READ AND ENJOY

My favorite number is 8...This is why.

I was born in the year 88~duh... my fave number twice (8 & 8)

I was born on the 16th day of the 9th month
half of 16 is 8, & the cubic root of 9 is 3
if u cut the number 8 down the middle it makes two 3s, mirroring each other
which are the shapes of butterfly wings....
i have half a buttefly on my shoulder blade and 3 stars on my ankle....
(3s represent wings...)

Half of 8 is 4, and as i earlier stated, cubic root of 9 is 3
i graduated high school in 07...4+3=7, which is considered a lucky number

That is the mathematical reason why my favorite number is 8 with its significance to me...

Bland Hair

From now on I will be doing the majority of my hair posts on youtube and posting the videos here. Back in the day, I used to do videos ALL the time but they were only on facebook & youtube & myspace-- none for the blog. Its easier to speak about my hair using visual aids. Sometimes pictures aren't enough. Plus I think you guys should know how I sound. You will feel closer to me. Anywho the latest video is about my HAIR TYPE!!! I see naturals always talking about their 4a 4b hair & I just can't figure out what kind of hair I have. So watch the video & add your input if you like..

Really now?

If you watch 19 & Counting on TLC then you may be familiar with the Duggars & their views on modesty. Well thanks to twitter & @JadoreJustine I found the 'wholesomewear.com' site that makes the swimwear the Duggars wear. Oh lawd. I'd drown in this mess. Give me a bikini.. But if you believe in modesty, more power to you..

The Adventures Of Bobby Ray [B.o.B]

I gave B.o.B a chance just like i gave that Wiz Khalifa dude.. Umm. Kush&Orange Juice is still suckish.. But back to Bobby Ray. Everyone should BUY this cd now. Not your traditional rap/hip hop album. A tad bit more alternative. You can listen to this & not feel like you're getting dumber. I'm actually glad I bought this cd on itunes now.. Its definitely worth the $$ spent. My favorite track is Airplanes. OMG. I'm in love with B.o.B now :):):) --- & Bet I which features T.I. & somebody else.. Is it bad that I feel like twerking to this song? I'd break a dude off to this beat while blowing.. ok I'm done. Go get it.. now.

".. matter fact, give me 15 minutes & bag of bud I bet I bust."

Remixes

Destiny's Child had the BEST remixes. Their remixes were so good they released a whole album entitled "This Is The Remix".. Their first HIT single No, No, No Part 2 was a remix. See you guys live in the era where a remix is just a bunch of rappers hopping on adding a new verse/16 bars and thats IT. No, a true remix is when the whole song is reworked. Sometimes even new lyrics.. New melody. New instumental. New everything. Maybe its slowed down.. or the arrangement is a tad bit different. You disagree?? Psh!! Listen to this. Say My Name remix (Timbaland remix) Enjoy.

I Never Do This...

She's so cute. I wish I were fun sized like her.

Formspring Sucks.

Formspring sucks. At first it was kind of interesting. I had so many good questions that were kind of funny in the beginning then everything turned to sex. Everyone wanted to know if I sucked, licked, fucked... Who I sucked, licked & fucked. How many I sucked, licked & fucked. The kind of peens I like (as if a person would say short & skinny).. After awhile the questions because filled with hatred aimed at bringing me down.. Then they became messy bringing up VERY personal questions that only people who REALLY know me would know. So now I'm saying, formspring had its run. It was fun while it lasted. If you'd like to know ANYTHING else feel free to email me vividlybland@gmail.com or just leave a question in the comments. You can still be anonymous.. I just don't feel like dealing with the same sex questions ALL the time. Its not like any of you will sample my honey. You're better off watching porn.

Excuse me sir?!

I KNOW YOU DIDN'T!!! My future husband best get his paws off that girl!!! smh.. That should be Me!!!! =/
*sigh* too bad he doesnt do a bit of my JAM Un-Thinkable.. That would've been purrrrfecto.

Back In The Day

If you don't remember this.. You are TOO damn young to be on here!! Take your adolescent ass on *snickers* JK. I love yall :)

Banana's in Pajamas Theme Song


Reading Rainbow:


Gullah Gullah Island: (My favorite skit! Jump in Jump Out Introduce yourself)


There are SO many other shows.. I'll save them for another day :):)

Reflections.

Growing up I looked up to the wrong people. My idols were older family members & friends who I thought were the way I should be. I wanted to be JUST LIKE THEM. They weren't smart. They didn't do anything inspiring. Nope. They just had fun & had the attention of every guy. I went through my awkward stage which I think every child goes through. Mine involved me being overweight & sort of dorky looking. Fat girl with glasses? Yup, that was me. Once I lost weight & begin to hit puberty I came into my own & I felt okay with the way I looked. I just wanted GUYS to look at me the way they looked at my step sisters & their friends/cousins.

They'd go out to the club & let me tag along using one of their friends IDs to get in. Before we'd go there I'd go through the long process of taking my hair out of the uniform high ponytail so that it swung down my back. My girlish clothing was traded in for something short, tight & revealing paired with some tall heels that made me feel sexy. Then I'd take off my glasses and pile on the makeup. I was blind as a bat but damn it I looked GOOD.

This started as a 'club' thing or just something i did when I hung out with my older sisters but eventually it made its way into my everyday wardrobe. I had platform boots, mini skirts, high splits, tight capris, tight jeans-- everything to make me STAND OUT. This would've been okay but I was only in the 8th grade! Traded in my glasses for contacts & thats all she wrote. Cut my hair. Got a relaxer. Became a cheerleader so that I could get EVEN closer to the guys. Practiced my walk daily to get it right. Had to make sure I had just enough swivel to catch the guys attention. & of course I did.

I was no longer the fat girl; the smart black girl; the chick with the glasses; marcus' little sister-- I was ME. I had my own identity. This is when all of the girls in my lil city began to hate me. The same year I gained some confidence I lost most of my 'friends'. Why? Because they said I thought I was all that. They were right. I did. I had to though.

I didn't mind. I had the attention from every dude in Huntsville. I'd walk through the hallways of HHS and everyone knew my name. Every guy wanted to fuck me. Some even wanted to date me. A select few did. *shrugs* It bee like that :).

I lived a double life. Still kept my grades up. Still was the smart black girl. I just had a lil oomph. Drinking. Smoking. Club hopping. Sex. Sneaking out. Lying. I did it all. No really, I did it all. By the time I graduated high school there really wasn't anything I hadn't tried.

Which is why at 21 I'm sort of burned out. I hate clubs. I drink to socialize, not to get drunk. I like to have fun but my idea of fun is now going to the zoo or aquarium (things I should have been enjoying as a child). I grew up too fast. I lost my virginity because I was told i should. Everyone was doing it. I just wanted to get it over with. Scheduled it with a random guy who I had knew for awhile.. He wasn't my boyfriend. Just a dude I was cool with. SMH.

I still use my strut to get guys attention.. I just wish I would've waited a little longer to do things. I wish I would have only had sex with guys I had a real genuine relationship with and not just a guy who I like or thought was cute or who just happened to be around when I was horny or just because I saw he had a big peen. *sigh*. I wish I would have only had sex with the guy I loved.

I should have waited. So to all of my sisters, my real younger sister & all of the others who may read this: It may look fun now but looking back you'll see that you missed out on your youth.. You missed out on having FUN. You grew up too fast. You don't have to have sex with him to keep him. If he leaves you because you won't give him any, then its HIS loss. You're worth way more than that. You don't have to yearn to be grown up because you WILL be a grown up one day. Sex will not keep a man or make some guy like you. He will like your sex, but not really you. I just wish somebody would have told me that when I was 15. Instead I'm here telling you to WAIT.

Memories..

When I was in fourth grade I had finally gained enough confidence to perform in the school talent show by myself & I wanted to sing "No Scrubs" by TLC with two more of my friends. I was gonna be Chilli of course so I could sing lead. Unfortunately them hating ass hoes said it wasn't appropriate for us to sing. You see we had to explain what a scrub was-- duh! "A guy who can't get no love from me!" smh. Britney Spears was banned too. Ugh. We ended up singing "I'm Proud to be an American" by some country artist. "..from the lakes of Minnesota to the hills of Tennessee. Across the plains of Texas- from sea to shining sea. From Detroit down to Houston. From New York to LA... & I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free & I won't forget the man who died who gave that right to me & I'll gladly stand up next to you & defend her still today.." & then they rolled out this big ass poster dedicated to the POW who had just returned home from the middle east. So I guess we were a 'big deal'.

While You Were Sleeping

(Click On Screen caps to enlarge)

I was getting the "latest" on twitter.. Apparently fame whore, well really just rapper fucker smut Kat Stacks & her no name friend decided to have a three some with a LA area rapper by the name of "Jay Rock" (I honestly don't know who he is or what songs he has out.. google him). Unfortunately for both her & her friend, the two hot boxes were bamboozled & ended up fucking the guy who manages Jay Rock, A-Mack (@AMACK_TDE). SMH. All of this was played out on twitter by a slew of tweets from both @JayRock & A-Mack. Now I don't normally condone shit like this but.. this is exactly what Kat Stacks triflin ass gets. How you gonna just fuck rappers all willy nilly with the hopes of 'exposing' them?? Like I said before, you will NEVER be SuperHead! (Unfortunately I have NO screen caps from @iHateKatStacks because her bitch ass has her tweets protected. Skeez. [[Be on the look out for the footage-- word on the tweet is they got this shit on camera]]

My fave line?? "she said u dont look like yo pictures do hahah i said girl photoshop is outta control now days AHAHAH now drink this"

"DUMB ASS SAID I NEED SOME GOOSE I SAID BITCH TILT THE CUP AN LET JAYROCK FUCK HAHAHa"

**UPDATE** The Soap Twopera is ongoing as we type. Keep checking back for the latest or just follow @JayRock, @iHateKatStacks, & @AMACK_TDE 

Riri Voice over??

This has been Irking me for damn near two years now.. The Rihanna Covergirl Commercial where she has a horrible voice over. smh I guess CoverGirl really DOESN'T like 'accents'.. Oh but I bet if she spoke Spanish it would be acceptable.

Super Single Bee =/

The other day someone told me that I was the most single person they knew. It kinda made me feel sad. I'm not THAT single. & I promise I could have a boyfriend if I wanted.. & there is definitely a guy who is in love with me. HMPH! And if I were in a different state maybe things would be different. *sigh* The guy I want is too far away. sucks. with my super single ass.

Welcome Back

Ciara - Ride.

The Rules to Sex

The Rules to having a purely sexual relationship with NOTHING more than just sex. No strings attached, nothing.

1. We are not friends. We’re just having sex.

The number one rule that is always broken. Once you have an inkling of some type of feelings for the other, you no longer have a purely sexual relationship. The most powerful connection is one between friends. Easiest way to fall for someone is to first become their friend. If you just want them to be your sex toy, don’t begin ANY type of relationship with them.

2. All communication should be kept at a minimum just to schedule in a sex date.

Texting them all day will break the FIRST rule thus ruining this purely sexual fling. If you’re texting/calling or communicating on a constant basis about your day, life, future plans you are becoming more… More than what you should be. Feelings are being formed. You’re falling. STOP.

No flirty texts. No sexting. All correspondence should be as follows: “When are you free?” “Would you like to meet up then?” “I’ll bring the condoms” “Okay bye” – That’s IT.

3. No kissing, no foreplay, JUST SEX.

Kissing is the most passionate thing you can do. Don’t kiss them. Don’t engage in foreplay. Just HAVE SEX! If you do anything more you will fall for them.

4. No hanging out.

Are you guys watching a movie? STOP. If you’ve been around each other for longer than 10mins and nothing has happened, its time to leave. You are NOT a friend. You are just there for sex.

5. No cuddling.

Simple. Cuddling is just too much. Too close.

 

Break any of these five rules and you might as well become more.. You’re catching feelings. Eventually you will want more.

Also, all sexual flings should last less than 6 months. You should have sex no more than 3 times a month. If less than that, the sexual fling can be extended to up to a year. That is all.  After that, cease ALL COMMUNICATION & move on.

Ahem..

They Sleep. I Slumber.

 

Sweet Dreams.

Fuck 4/20

It’s no secret that I may have dabbled in the herbal essence a few times but I refuse to spend a day smoking, even if others say its a “holiday”. Boo that ish. If you wanna smoke, do it. You don’t need a set day.. I mean, I wonder how many random drug tests are going on today the twenty-first?? hmmm.

#ShoutOuts to all the dudes who don’t like for their chicks to smoke.

Dude: “I think its unattractive when a female smokes” Me: “Oh really?” *blows smoke in face*

It BEEs like that. I’m gangsta like that.

Blah. I hope you pass your piss test.

Five Star Chick

This is why I can't stand niggas.. & I worked hard in high school to distance myself from fuckery like this. SMH

Let It Go Bee

I have a thing for guys who are 1,000 miles away or who doesn’t even know I exist. Why? I don’t know. It’s always been this way. I fall so damn hard & fast. Ridiculously fast. The bad thing is I never know when to let go. How long is too long to be obsessed with some guy??? How long can you stay friends with someone before you feel like its time to take the plunge into something MORE?

How long am I going to write Mrs. _____ all over my binders nshit? How long am I going to name our kids?? I mean little Parker Brielle & Aleia Michelle are dying to meet daddy… How long will I stalk your myspace, facebook, & twitter dying to see if you have any new pictures or videos?? How long will I talk about you to my friends about you & they say “Oh my. You love him…” & I brush it off like “No.. I don’t love him..” but I honestly don’t know if it’s love or not. I just know that I would love to see where this could go & what this could be.

Blah. I’m sorry you guys. Sometimes I just have a moment. Blame the hormones. I do have a legit problem. I never know when to let go, fall back, move one.. The same guy I was crushing on in 2008 is the very guy I am still madly & deeply into right now in 2010. Sad. Brittney is consistent. Okay I’m done.. for now.

Shut It Down

I feel like making a video to that song. I have a GREAT idea Drake. Call me up.. We can talk business. I mean you don’t have to put me in it but I do think I’d be great on camera. I’ve been working out JUST for this. You need a sexy video strictly for the ladies. I know ‘Best I Ever Had’ didn’t really do it for your female fans so if Shut It Down IS a single the video has to be female friendly. I wanna see abs or some ish. I’m not going to give away ALL of my ideas but yeah.. hit me up at vividlybland@gmail.com so we can talk. I’ll do it for free too. That’s the homie hook up. I just wanna meet you :). Or talk. That’s all. I’m obsessed. Let me interview you for Vividly Bland!!!!!!!!! That would be awesome. I have the questions now. =] So we can do the interview in exchange for my great treatment idea?! Cool.

Fuck Mother Nature..

... She stay on that hater shit... with her bitch ass.

But Its Far From Over

My Future Husband at the Juno Awards performing Over. I wonder If we'll have to move to Canada once we're married??? Hmmm I don't mind though..


My future Husband Drake won Rap Recording of the Year for "So Far Gone" and New Artist of the Year :):) Yay Drizzy!!

LMAO

Chris.. Just stop. & Ewww.. your tats don't look to hot babe. I still love you but umm.. yeah. Figure it out hun.. FAST.

Canada's Best

Drake & Justin Bieber perform together at the Juno Awards.. I'm moving to Canada. I love those Canadians =]=]=]




Drake's verse:

"I say please put away the cameras,
We just in the club getting MC Hammered
God forbid I ever trade the wisdom for the glamour,
I know i'm just a boy that a woman can make a man of..
So make me one I know that she can make me one
I just want a woman who looks 30 when she's 81.
Please don't give it all away I hope that she can save me some
Justin why dnt you tell em where your Baby from"

I'm A Bitch

I know its wrong to call yourself a bitch but its true. I am a bitch. I get annoyed at the smallest shit. I'm snappy as hell. I have an attitude 24/7. I don't like to hold the phone for long periods of time because you're only talking about your problems. I don't care how you feel sometimes. I like to talk about myself.. or at times nothing at all. Is that wrong? Especially when you call me about something that doesn't interest me. I don't care about other people and their drama. Who they're sleeping with. How many kids they have. Blah blah blah blah. Is it bad that I live in my own world where only certain people matter? Many of the people you talk about don't matter. Grrr.. People tweeting annoys me sometimes. Lol. Bad I know. If I say something that is clearly a joke, its taken seriously & nobody gets the sarcasm. Must I put LOL or hehehe after every joke? I made a comment this morning about Kat Stacks being the real sign that the world was coming to an end & someone really took that shit seriously. Some people should just think & not tweet. Just shut up. The joke was poking fun at everyone saying the world was ending because of all the earthquakes and shit this year. I don't know bout yall but every time something catastrophic happens the old folks & church folk all say "the end is near.. oh lawd. the world ending soon! look at whats going on in the world". & i just laugh. When it ends we won't know.. It will be a surprise. Quit trying to predict shit & just live. Not like you can stop it. Okay i'm done. I'm a bitch.

Groupie Love

Some lightskin dude in lil wayne's entourage tried to talk to me. He was ugly. I didnt get his name. said he was a rapper. it was gudda gudda. Told me he was about to blow up & shit & that I missed my "blessing in disguise" like he was gonna trick money or something. smh.. this was a couple of years ago though.. back when i was talkin to the fake road manager "montana" oh lawd.. im no groupie. but then again i could be making all of this up =/ I have groupie thoughts.. I'm not gonna act like i wouldnt smash a rapper first night.. i'd probably smash the homie first night if i wanted to. That's just how I am. I'm not gonna act like I'm all innocent when I'm not. That I wouldn't do some shit that SHE does or that she is beneath me. We all know that money & fame makes some people look better. We desire the lifestyle. We want to be around these men with money&power. Nothing wrong with that. How many times have you smashed a broke regular dude because you liked him or he was cute?? Okay same with a rapper. You like him (his image) & find him attractive. You smash or want to smash. Nothing wrong with that. Now I wouldn't blog about it & give names & shit because that's not Bee's style. I'll tell the story of what went down but it would just be like any old Tom.. No real names or incriminating evidence. Okay I'm done. Aint nothing wrong with a lil groupie love

Khia..

Umm I rather listen to this. Still my shit from 8th grade. =/

LIl Bow Wow Day

Today is officially Lil Bow Wow Day. I'm gonna jam ALL of my old ass Bow Wow cds until I can't take it anymore. If you follow me on twitter you will see the tweets all day long :) Random lyrics from a young lyrical genius, Shad Gregory Moss. Oh please don't get it twisted if we kick it get your bump on. Hope to God you see me again when I'm grown.

Dear Kat Stacks,

Don't ever compare yourself to Superhead. Compared to you she is a smart business woman.. You on the other hand are just a little girl lost. Superhead had these rappers paying her bills, buying her shit, taking CARE OF HER! Kat, all you got was a cab fare & a wet pussy. I mean, really you only got cab fare THERE sometimes & had to find your own way home. LMAO. Can a bitch get a meal or something?? You might as well fuck with a regular dude. At least they'd come personally pick your ass up.

Its sad that women today feel the only way to obtain a little level of fame is to sleep with rappers & THEN air them out. I mean, if you REALLY wanna get the rappers for all they got you have to know how to work it. You better read "Confessions of a Video Vixen" again Kat Stacks. You see what Karrine did? She became "friends" with these rappers. They were all cool with her for years & then once they cut her off she gathered all of her information and made a book. You should've worked your ass into at least ONE Young Money video. C'mon now!

Kat Stacks is the dumbest bitch on twitter right now. & that's real.

Marilyn..

 Her thighs rub.. So i don't feel THAT bad that my thighs rub too :)

Bald Kitty.

I feel some kind of way about guys who want their chick's to shave all of their hair off down their. I feel like only 7year old girls have naturally bald vaginas. I believe in trimming, but I feel a certain kind of way about shaving it ALL off. The hair is their for a reason. Protects the vagina from bacteria! Why must I shave it all off just for you to pleasure me?? smh..

who knew this upkeep was gonna be so hard. ugh. I feel like not even getting any head. I don't want a bald kitty.

smh...

it be like that sometimes..

Them panties aint mine Drake! =/

I Wonder...

If Solange will have a big afro soon...... Hmmm. I like her shades. & I like the head bow. I guess I have to lose 50lbs so I can wear tiny clothing again. (Why did i tag my pics?? Grrrr.. I'm working on a logo. I have no idea how vividly bland should look. One day we will have a website!!)

My Girl..

I think it's so cute watching Jayz & Bey perform together. =] Especially when Bey is dancing & the way they interact to certain lines n ish. Yea, you can hate my girl all you want but you know she is greatness. BAM.

Kush & Orange Juice?

The other day I downloaded this mixtape from some rapper dude Wiz Khalifa. (Is that how you spell his name? Oh well. Doesn't matter) Yeah, nothing worth writing about. I mean I don't see why all of twitter was going nuts like this was some lyrical masterpiece. He wasn't really rapping about nothing. I found myself completely tunin out his verses and just jamming to the beat. Kudos to the producers. That's the only thing worth listening to on the Wiz mixtape. I never even heard of dude before. I saw his name mentioned in a few tweets but thats about it. He's kinda cute. I mean, not really cute but just like averagely attractive if that makes sense. Tyga is cuter. Thats who he reminds me of. Skinny dude with tats. They all look the same to me.

So the official verdict? The mixtape was a waste of my 34mins of download time and however long I listened to it. Someone told me he was listened to by smokers while they got high... I don't get the hype though. =/ Sorry Wiz. Bee doesn't like you. You may like him though.. Download the mixtape if you LIKE & follow him on twitter @RealWizKhalifa

Pro-Snitching

Maybe I’m just not hip at all.. but I’m all for snitching. I refuse to go to jail for some fake ass ‘loyalty to the streets’ bull. Well I don’t come from the streets but still. If you do some foul ass shit & they actually have enough information to come question ME about me, trust I’m letting the cat out of the bag. Lil Kim spent a year in jail for another.. Couldn’t & Wouldn’t be BEE. If you’re going to kill someone, shoot someone or do some other off the wall illegal shit, keep it to yourself and don’t tell me. I promise I’m telling it ALL. I come first.

In 2010 you shouldn’t be afraid to tell the truth. lol. Lying will get you caught up your damn self. Okay. I’m done.

Snitch on.

Relationship My Ass

Some women give men to much power. Yall are fucking it up for the rest of us single women out here. I have a couple of friends who are involved with guys who are NOT ready to make a commitment yet. I myself have heard those words from grown ass men who claim that they are just “not ready to be in a relationship right now.” Major *eye roll* from the Philippines!

How can you NOT be ready for a relationship with someone you’ve been hanging out with & smashing for the last few months? The real answer is YOU DON’T WANT TO BE INVOLVED WITH THEM! & for good reason. You’re getting everything you want or need from that person without having to admit that you’re taken.

You are free to smash any female you want because of a wack ass technicality. You’re single. Blah.
How many times have I been somewhere with a friend who says she can’t wear a certain outfit because “he’s gonna get mad” or HE doesn’t want her to talk to any other guys. This same motherfucker who just told you he wasn’t ready for a damn relationship is acting like he is your father/man right now by dictating what you can or cannot wear & who you can or cannot associate yourself with. It’s like he’s staking a claim on the land that is your BODY so that no other person can snatch up your gold mines first. Hmph! How selfish!
Don’t go through my call logs & inbox to see who I’m communicating with if WE can’t open up the lines of communication and become more than just a ‘friend with benefits’.

See you got it all fucked up. The benefits part means that we are friends, we hang out & fuck around but we don’t have to do all that checkin in ish. We don’t have to just be with you. We can fuck whoever. Talk to whoever. Hang out with WHOEVER. All the perks of a relationship without the drama. But if you are just going to be my bed bud, you must follow the RULES. If you find yourself getting jealous or wanting to break those ‘rules’, I advise you to reevaluate the situation. Maybe you should make it official. Put a title on it. Change that good ol’ facebook status to in a relationship with Bee Sayuri Michelle & we can make this thang OFFICIAL. Until then. I guess you can just be ‘complicated’ lmao.

But seriously, my fellow women, & MEN, who are out here technically SINGLE, please do the right thing. Don’t question them, & don’t let them question you. You’re single so act like it. :)

**Actually, I don’t care if you ARE my man.. I don’t think that I’d actually stop wearing mini dresses or short shorts because you say so.. Maybe that’s why I’m single**

Red Cup

I’m so vividly bland. Cameras are flashing & I’m in my own little world. People are socializing all around me & I’m in my zone with a red cup downing vodka straight. No chaser. Why? Because I’m bad ass like that. Hmmm.. I just noticed how short I am.  True alcoholics make their bottles look pretty with a black light. If you can’t stand the heat get out of the kitchen.

My Eyes..

are green because I eat alot of vegetables.. It has nothing to do with your new friend.




*disclaimer.. contacts. el fin.*

but my eyes are pretty darn sexy I know. & I miss my red hair. Blah.

Sometimes..

Sometimes I run,

Sometimes I hide,

Sometimes I'm scared of you...

But all I really want is to hold you tight,

Kiss you right,

Be with you day & night..

Baby all I need is time.

Sad that Britney Spears is the only shit that can explain how I'm feeling right now.

Drake, We need to talk..

I missed Drake on Ustream last night. If you read this blog regularly then you KNOW that I absolutely LOOOOOVE Aubrey Drake Graham & I honestly believe he is my "Future Husband" :)

If I ever meet Drake, I have a list of things to discuss with him. Mostly about his sudden departure from Degrassi. I need to know how did the stem cell research go in Europe & if he can walk again. I need to know if he was EVER able to have an erection. I need to know if Jimmy's parents are still together or did he tell him mom about the affair Mr. Brooks was having with his secretary. Yes, Jimmy you NEED to talk to me about this. I hate that they just dropped my favorite characters off like that.. I grew up with Jimmy & Paige, Spinner, Emma, Manny, Liberty.. the WHOLE gang. I cried when Jimmy got shot. I cried when JT was stabbed and killed. I learned that you can get STDs from giving head because of Emma being in the ravine. SMH.

I'm just saying, Drizzy, call me up. All you have to do is FOLLOW me on twitter, send me a DM, & we'll chop it up. OR how about you holla at me after your show May 20th in Houston =]=]=] that would be GRAND

Black Girls Don't Have Eating Disorders

When you're a black girl growing up in the South, your problems aren't really dealt with or heard with TRUE help. If you are "depressed" your parents just tell you to snap out of it & go to church more.. Your issues aren't put out on the table because in a "black" family, you just deal with it amongst your family & move on.

When I was around the age of 6, I had issues with my body. I was extremely skinny. My step mother would make jokes about me saying I was so skinny that one day I would be standing outside and a cool breeze would come through & take me away & i'd be "gone with the wind". Cool analogy, but those words stuck with me. All of my step sisters were a bit chubby & this made me feel uncomfortable with my own skinny self. I remember being in third grade standing on the scale crying for what seemed to be hours while I ate slices of kraft american cheese trying to see my weight go up to at least 100lbs. This may not seem like alot but for someone who was under 5'0" & only 8,9,10 this was something MAJOR. 

By 5th grade I was a bit chubby. By 6th grade I was fat as hell. Now instead of being made fun of I was being laughed at for being a fat kid. 12 years old & I was still 5'0" & topped the scales at 150-160lbs. Who gains 50lbs in a year?? smh.. I was determined to lose weight again but I didn't know how. I got really sick during Spring Break & could barely eat. I lost about 20lbs in about 2 weeks. I also played Softball that year so I became more active.. As I entered Mance Park Middle School I was no longer fat Brittney. I was a new PERSON!

I began my 7th grade year weighing in at 130lbs & I had grew 3inches over the summer! 5'3 & 130? Seemed awesome. I began to love my body. I still had a little bit of ass as I always had growing up. I had the long hair guys liked. I considered myself fashionable & I always had guys' attention. I was loving it. Most people thought I was a new student. They didn't realize that I was the same fat girl from the year before. I steadily lost weight all throughout the year & by 8th grade I was a cheerleader, I ran track, I was apart of the broadcast video production crew called MPTV which made videos that were shown all over school- & I weighed the lowest I had since elementary school: 107lbs & 5'5". 

My weight slowly changed in high school. I grew up. Gained more curves.. But mainly I stayed between the 120-130lbs range until my senior year where I began to be LESS active & eat fast food everyday. I soon weighed 160lbs AGAIN. I hated my body. I didn't even notice I was fat until I was with my brother one day getting ready to go out to the club "Nite Movez" off 1960 when I grabbed an oreo and began to snack on it.. He then yelled out something along the lines of "ew you're fat.. you need to quit eating". That hurt me so much that I ran into the bathroom & threw up. I threw up everything I ate for the next 24hrs. Then I just said fuck it. Of course I got sick again during Spring Break & loss a whole bunch of weight before Prom. At prom I was back down to 140lbs. My safe weight. I haven't been that size since. 

My weight is a constant battle because if I don't work out everyday religiously I will gain weight. Not just 5lbs or so-- 20-30lbs in less than a month. I'm still on a journey to eat healthier. I've battled with my weight since I was 6 years old. Either I was too skinny or too fat. I was never PERFECT. I know its impossible to have the perfect body but that's the world we live in. I know I've stressed that I love my body & all of its imperfections but I can't help but to want a body like Beyonce or Rihanna or Nicki Minaj.. I can't help but to want a 26inch waist with 40inch hips. I can't help but to want a toned up sexy body. It just takes WORK. I'm working on that now. 

I love that when I look in the mirror I see the progress in my body. I still know that I have struggled with an eating disorder for years but I was never taken seriously because black girls aren't bulimic! black girls aren't anorexic! black girls don't have eating disorders! Yes Black Girls Do! 

I have starved myself. I starved myself all during high school. Once I had a contest with a white chick where we wanted to see who could get under 120lbs first. We both started in at about 125.. By the end of the following week I weighed 118. We didn't eat at school.. We only ate at home in front of our parents & when we did we ate very little & said we ate alot at lunch. I have thrown up after meals a few times.

It's not healthy to be so focused on your body like that but it happens. I'm not perfect. I'm trying to love my body more & more everyday but sometimes I do wish I could just be skin & bones. I've had an ass my whole life. It would be nice to have no booty. It's a daily struggle.. 

Can you see the TWO abs coming in at the top?? lol.. maybe its just me. =P

sorry for being so long. I just felt the need to share a little bit of my story