Sunday, May 11, 2014

My Curves Are Enticing

My life has been a bit of crazy as of late and today I finally had alone time to sit down and write about something that has been plaguing my mind as of late. 

The Rape Culture. 

It's alarming how many people believe that women who are raped are asking for it. Based on your appearance, you are enticing men and these men shouldn't be punished for acting on instinct! 

Wait. What? 

Yes. My body and the way I walk or talk is enticing to men so if one were to touch me without my consent, it's my fault and not his. 

How can people think this way? A few months ago, I fell asleep at my (former) friend's house. I wore an oversized Huntsville Hornets Basketball tshirt and baggy maroon sweats. I slept on an air mattress in the corner of her living room covered in my plush pink blanket.  I was awakened by something or someone rubbing on my thigh/butt while I slept. Now, everyone who knows me will tell you that I HATE to be disturbed in my sleep. So for about 10seconds I really thought "why is someone rubbing me? I'm not at home and I didn't spend the night with my #bae". I slowly rolled over to see my friend's boyfriend as the person who was touching me in my sleep. I look him in the eyes and to my surprise he keeps on running his hands over the whole circumference of my ass-- in a very creeperish manner. I ask him "what the fuck are you doing?" And he stops. Runs to the opposite end of the room and pretends like nothing happened and continued to play his rented play station. 

Now that's all I will reveal of that story because the other details piss me off. 

I felt violated. I sought counsel from an unbiased 3rd party after I told my friend and she basically said that she didn't believe me because her boyfriend said he was trying to get something that fell on me in my sleep-- and after going off and being labeled dramatic. The guy said "Well you do have a big butt so I mean are you sure you didn't entice him?" Basically because of my body type I should be okay with guys touching me without my consent. I should be raped because somehow the way my body is shaped is attractive to these savage men, and by nature a man cannot control his desires. 

Is this what we are teaching our children? As a woman I should remain covered up and be ashamed of my body because my curves are enticing to men. 

Why are we not teaching young boys to grow up to be respectful and protective of women? Why are we teaching them that rape is essentially ok? Why are we teaching them that they don't have to respect a woman and her body? 

So blame it on me. If my hips weren't so wide, my behind so shapely and boobs so perky, I wouldn't have to deal with a guy being so enticed by my body that he cannot stop his urges to touch me inappropriately. My lips covered in Riri Woo is sending off the signal that I'm willing to kiss anyone. My eyes seduced the man so much that regardless of what my red tinted lips screamed, he still felt compelled to rip my dress off me. My hands punched at him; I kicked and tried to push him off of me but he easily overpowered me and my efforts to protect myself from him were in vain. And even though I fought so hard he ignored my cries for him to stop as his hands pried my legs apart and enjoyed what was between them because he knew what my body wanted. Ignoring the tears that streamed down from those eyes he felt seduced him; the pain became his joy. Ignoring the screams of "No" and "Please stop" were reduced to screams of joy and he heard YES. The hands that punched and legs that kicked to keep him off of me were just me playing hard to get because he knew what I wanted and my body was his.