Wednesday, August 31, 2011


Brief Bio

Ambitions? I just want to be fabulous! I want to be an actress.. A writer... I want to be a teacher... I want to be a psychologist.. Fuck that. I just want to help people-- mainly children. I enjoy volunteer work so much. I was on the board of a scholarship pageant for High School girls last year... Next year, I will become a Girl Scout Troop Leader. IDK. My ultimate life goal will be me on a beach writing my novel and volunteering in my community every chance I get. As long as I have an impact on someone's life, I'll be GOOD. I just don't want to die without having left my mark on this world. My favorite color is purple but I'm enjoying pink more now... I was never a fan of bright colors but my room is FULL of it now. I still find myself preferring to dress in all black. Food? Mexican.. Italian.. Anything cheesy.. beefy.. with a lot of sauce will end up in my mouth. I love rice too. Favorite movie is kind of hard though... I can watch "The Color Purple" all the time. I know that movie verbatim. Same with "Mean Girls". I quote that shit daily. Hobbies? Psh.. all i do now is read, blog, and work. I don't do shit else. Bar hop?? LMAO. Music? I love R&B.. Im such a hopeless romantic, i live through music. Anything by Beyonce will get me hype though. I LIVE for her. I know ALL of her choreography... If she ever became ILL at a concert, i could totally fill in. I do enjoy old school more than what's out now.. I have a thing for cheesy pop songs from the 90s. I love so many types of music.. OMG country? PSH! I even had a brief moment with gangsta rap in my younger years. My itunes shows that. You'd be like "whaaaaaat?" by the shit I listen to. Political views? Eh, I try not to get into politics because I feel that all politicians are liars and the break down of the political groups doesn't really benefit ALL of us. It's every man for themselves. But then again, I am a black female in America who feels as if NOBODY is fighting for my rights, therefor I will always fight for my own. Nobody cares about US. It doesn't matter who I voted for... I just want their to be Universal Healthcare.. I could care less if a gay person decides to get married.. Apathetic about that. Religion shouldn't have that much of an effect on... you know what. I'm not going there. lol.. Anymore questions?

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Another Illuminati Rant

Have you ever wondered why you never go on WHITE blogs and see them claiming their own TOP artists are apart of the Illuminati?? I swear I feel like all this "Illuminati" & Devil Worshiping nonsense was planted in the minds of black folk to make us believe that the only way OUR people could become famous/wealthy/successful is by worshiping the devil. And of course our dumb asses will believe ANYTHING "they" say. Five years ago you fools aint know SHIT about no damn Illuminati. One fuckin blog mentions it and you spotting symbols in EVERYTHING i wish i WOULD believe every fucking thing I read on stop now. I just get really upset when I see black people scream shit about the Illuminati then throw bible verses at me... -____- Name ONE white celebrity that your blogs have accused of being apart of the Illuminati. And how the fuck our unimportant asses are so privileged to know who is apart of these secret societies? We so special. Everyone always says well "THEY" said this.. but can never quite tell me who THEY actually are. Why? It's all hearsay. our people brainwash themselves. Its really sad. We accept whatever they feed us.

Monday, August 29, 2011

Beyoncé is Pregnant!!!!

I feel like a proud auntie to be because my big sister Beyoncé is finally having a beautiful musical baby made out of love!! *sigh* I am compeletely overjoyed.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011


Will. This. Be. The. End. Of. Me.?

Four walls are always surrounding my body. Four walls are surrounding my mind. Four walls are surrounding my heart. Four fucking walls. I feel that wall. Cold fucking wall.

I don't want to be this anymore. I miss what I used to be. I miss writing. I can't even articulate how I fucking feel anymore. Thoughts never seem to translate well onto my screen. I can still feel the word though. As Im typing. It feels hard. And tingly. I love that shit. Doesn't make sense though.

I just want to be happy again. I can't be happy because I am losing my mind. I am losing my mind because you aren't around anymore.

I hate not being perfect. I need to be perfect. I need to do so much. I need to be free. I need it.

I don't know what love is. I thought I knew how it felt but I guess I was wrong there too.

I just want to feel that again.

Early Morning Ramblings of a Sober Mind

Have you ever felt like you had so much to say but the words don't seem to be powerful enough to portray how you truly feel? I honestly think that I'm going crazy. I'm dying slowly. I'm just existing. So much pain in my heart. I feel so empty. I just want to be clean. Free. So much is on my mind. I can't get it out.  I'm still here. I'm still here. I'm still here. Migraines coming back. Sometimes it's hard to breathe. I can never sleep. Pain is too real. I search so long for love. never-ending search for love. love is never found. My heart is empty. I can't feel it beat anymore. Sometimes I question if I'm even alive. I wonder if I can ever feel again. Will I ever feel it again? I just want to be. I want to LIVE. I want it.

I honestly feel like I'm slowly going insane. I'm losing my fucking mind. And I love it.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Juanita Bynum Types In Tongues

I know i shouldn't laugh... but i cried. Tears of joy streamed down my cheeks and I rolled on the floor covered in sweet laughter. LAWD what is the world coming to? I did not know the spirit could affect what we type o_O

Monday, August 22, 2011


If home is where the heart is, he's homeless cuz he's heartless. I'm a love not a fighter but I've been hurt many times- I'm tired. They all think that they can try her til those shots are fired... I try to tell em, don't play with my love. This is your warning. I do not give a fuck. I'm just not feeling this mood I'm in. Taking care of ME now.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Jhené Aiko - SNAPPED

Jhené Aiko's "SNAPPED" from Jhené Aiko on Vimeo.

Another Post About Guy Problems

Men confuse me. If you're a frequent reader of Vividly Bland, then by now you've figured out I have the worst luck with men and my love life is damn near non-existent. Anywho, I've been in a tug-of-war of love with this guy I was involved with before I went to Spelman... Well, he has a new girlfriend now yet still holds on to me. Idk.. its a sticky situation because we both tell each other how much we care about the other but... he's with her and NOT me. I'm not sticking around to see if he'll ever get back with me.Earlier this month he & his girlfriend were having problems. Of course he talks to ME about it. He throws in this bullshit like I'm the ONLY person he trusts (Which is funny bc the main reason why he said we couldn't be together was that he didnt trust me smh) and that I'm the only person he can talk to. Whatever. I give him advice. Help him out. You know, be the friend for him. *sigh* Knowing that shit hurts me... Last week, I see him leaving my neighbors apartment and I'm furious! Idk why but I was like "You have a GIRLFRIEND?! Why are you with another chick?!" He swears its nothing. I don't believe him. So I was tweeting about this new guy I met and somehow He sees it. He doesn't even have twitter. Now i'm bombarded with questions about me & this other guy and he throws everything back in my face. How can I say i "love" him and i'm chilling with other dudes. So basically he wants to have me all to himself. He wants to be able to be in a relationship with this one girl and have me on standby if anything ever goes wrong... and for the awesome freaky sex she's not giving him. Pisses me off. I'm not letting him toy with my emotions and string me along. So yea, I met a new guy. We're kicking it hard. I cook for him. We mesh well together. And everything that YOU used to get, he's on the receiving end of. Carry on sir. Bee has moved ON.
I can't lie though. He will always have a place in my heart.. but I just know that we want two different things. I want to get married. Have kids. He doesn't plan on getting married and already has a kid.. I'm just like.. fuck it man. It's just crazy how upset his ass got when he found out that I was with a new dude.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Ziggy's Friend.

So a couple of weeks ago I met this guy... Funny how we met. Self check out. I was being nosey. Tryna see what he was buying and we were somehow both looking at each other. Lovely. Well, he came back to give me his number and we've been communicating ever since. He's so cute. I really think he's like the male version of me. Anywho, he has this dog who is like his best friend and when he came to visit, he asked if he could bring Ziggy with him. Of course. I feel like that's a test. Like how am I gonna react to his dog being around. Like its a child. Well, the dog slept in the bed with us. Foot of bed of course. I aint that friendly. We cuddled though. I really find myself liking this guy. He makes me feel like this is how I should feel ya know? He says things that I would say... We're almost perfect. IDK. Well, let's see how this goes.


yall should check out the weeknd. download "Thursday" & "House of Balloons"

i'm downloading "Thursday" now. So far so good. Get on it. Plus my future baby Drizzy told me to.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Ursula is Back

I haven't been blogging much lately. So busy with working. Moving. Decorating. Meeting new people... *sigh* Where do I begin?? Still single. Met a guy. He's cute. hopefully we become something interesting. Um... my HAIR. Grrrr.. had to get 2-3 inches cut this summer. Why? That dye job I did last year. My ends are horrible. hair is always dry. I wasn't really caring for it like i should. So now I'm trying something different. Low manipulation. Two strand twists with mango & lime loc gel. and my new hair mister-- Water, glycerin, jojoba oil, hemp seed oil & peppermint oil. I shall add rosemary & tea tree oil soon.. Shrinkage is crazy though. Anywho, updates coming soon on how my hair grows. and if I ever find a MAN.

Ursula's back.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011


.. Cuz dreams be portraying the best of times but I have to wake up to the worst of times.. sometimes.
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