Saturday, April 30, 2011

A Woman Like Me

Do you think you could fall for a woman like me? Cuz I find it hard to trust, I need too much & I really don't believe in love... Do you think that I could be the girl of your dreams? Sometimes I don't let things go, get emotional & sometimes I'm just out of control...

Last night I pierced my nipples. Yes, both of em. I felt like I needed to do something to cause more pain than the heartache I was experiencing. You know, the pain from my nipples being pierced by two huge needles HAD to be wayyy more intense than anything involving my heart. It kind of worked. Tonight was the first night I didn't cry  in a few days. I'm still hurting though but I know that once my boobs heal, my heart will as well. Or is that wishful thinking?

Hmmm.. I honestly don't know. I just need something to take care of to distract me from everything WRONG in my life. I've been sick for most of 2011. I spoke too soon. I feel tears a'coming but I refuse to cry. A woman like me.. man. Who wouldn't want a woman like Bee? Sheesh.

I need to get far away.. Because every time I see him with her, I want to fall to my knees in tears. Whenever I see him I just want to runaway & hide. I can't do THIS anymore.

 I can't be your friend but I don't want to completely erase you from my life... But I can't move on from you if I don't erase you from my life entirely. Honestly, I just hope that this decision is for the best. I don't like how you look at her the same way you used to look at me.

My friends thought that maybe if I had a one night stand I'd feel better-- eh no thanks. lol. Or to just find a new guy... I can't. My heart isn't ready for that. *sigh* Or am I just being too dramatic? Probably so. I just feel like you've strung me along... I wasted  some of the best years of my life on you... You just threw my love away. I want to know WHY her--- well really, Why not ME? Yea.. why NOT me?! Men.

My Mine - Jhene

buried alive here, inside a nightmare, living a life where, you're gone-
there is no light here, it will be lightyears, until my minds clear, you're gone.
i did it all for love, i did it all. i traded it all for ya, i traded all..
but what do i care for? what are you here for? if you're not there when i call
i was not careful, and it's all your fault, you let me fall.

memories sinkin, deep in, leakin, in my mine
all of the time, tried to forget you
thought i could get you to be mine
memories sinkin, deep in, leakin, in my mine
all of the time, i can't forget to
try to forget you in my mind

i'll be alright, i will be just fine-- i'll be okay once you get out my mind.

Why Does It Hurt So Bad?

why does it hurt so bad?
why do I feel so sad?
thought I was over you but I keep crying when I don’t love you??
so why does it hurt so bad?
I thought I had let you go so why does it hurt me so?
gotta get you out of my head..

It has been a rough week for me. I haven't been able to say how I really feel without bursting out in tears. So instead of pouring my heart out, I shall post lyrics/songs that will give you better insight on how I feel.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

NABE Let's Move! Flash Workout

NABEF is coordinating a "Let's Move! Flash Workout" featuring 16-time Grammy Award winner Beyoncé in support of First Lady Michelle Obama's initiative aimed at curbing childhood obesity.
On Tuesday, May 3, 2011 at 1:42 p.m. Eastern Time and across time zones (12:42 p.m. Central Time, 11:42 a.m. Mountain time, etc.), middle schools across the country will participate in the "Let's Move! Flash Workout." This historic event will underscore the importance of physical activity as part of a healthy lifestyle for children.
Music superstar Beyoncé is the exclusive featured artist for the Flash Workout event. Beyoncé has re-written and re-recorded one of her songs and has titled it "Move Your Body." She has also provided choreography in an instructional video that educators can use to help their students practice and prepare for event day. The song and instruction video have been produced in English and Spanish.
The event is being produced in partnership with the National Middle School Association (NMSA), the National School Boards Association (NSBA) and the American Association of School Administrators (AASA). Though these education partners, NABEF looks to secure participation by at least one middle school in each television DMA.
Our goal is to pair at least one local radio and television station with each participating school in each market. The local stations will be asked to cover the event, record the schools' routines as they are being performed and to consider streaming the event live on their websites.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

President Obama Releases Birth Certificate

Finally Donald Trump, the Tea Party & all the other fuckers in America can shut their mouths for a second by screaming out that the President of the United States is not an American citizen. He is. He was born in the U.S.A. Now can we focus on our economy? Can we? Oh ok. All of this hooplah is just to distract people from the bigger issues. They're just upset at the fact that we have a Black President. Thats the real issue. I mean, you have Donald Trump saying outlandish things with no truth behind it & its prime time news yet no one wants to take a look at how shitty our country is right now. Oh politics. Oh society. Oh, oh, oh!

Monday, April 25, 2011

Facebook Middle Names

I knew facebook had turned into myspace when all the hood boogers from around the way joined and began to use nicknames instead of middle names. This soon became the spot to showcase the latest in hood vernacular and hip jargon. Or to showcase your favorite song lyrics.. Brittany "CallMeForDatGood" Washington, Shauntal "PussieWillHugADick" Johnson, Darrel "IonWantNoGal" Anderson, etc.... Just look on your timeline. The fuckery is all there in the pudding. Now here's a video from WSHH

Saturday, April 23, 2011

HAMber Rose

is my new name. Been that for awhile now but yea.... That is all. I finally got my own apartment (again). Updates later. I have work in 10mins..

My Two Year Natural Hair Anniversary

about two years ago I stood in the bathroom of Morehouse-James dorm with a pair of Megan's sisters & began to cut off those few straight strands that still remained on my head :). Now this was not my "official" BC, but its when I cut the majority of my relaxed hair off. Here's a little trip down memory lane with pics so you can compare :)

April 2009

Summer 2009

Fall 2009

April 2010

April 2011

Obviously I have MAJOR shrinkage. But I love my curls. & I miss them dearly. (Im still rocking a ponytail with my straight hair. It's been a week and it has YET to revert back. )

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

That Kirko Bangz is a cutie

like.. i didn't realize he was that fine. What my name iz? Shiiiid.. My name iz Brittney but you can call me Bee or whatever you want-- that kinda fine.

A Two Year Journey: Part 1

I've proved that you can grow long hair. I've proved that you don't need to relax your hair to make it more manageable. I've proved that kinky curly coily hair can be professional/formal/sexy. I've proved that you don't have to be mixed to rock natural hair.

... and I feel as if women are finally learning to embrace what God has given them. You don't need a 20inch weave to stand out & be noticed by men. You don't need all the makeup that MAC can make to be beautiful. You can be beautiful in your own skin.

There are some men who HATE natural hair. They think its not combed. How many times a guy has told me I'd look so cute if my hair was straightened. Or why won't I get a relaxer. Hell, even women came at me with some sideways "you're not mixed--" blabber jabber as if my black hair isn't good enough to be seen in its natural state.

I just wanted the healthiest hair possible. I've made my mistakes of course but I'm still here with my fro. I didn't give up. I stuck it out even when I didn't think that I was my former self... I was lost for so long but I actually found myself-- with the help of my hair.

I still am on a journey. It's a crazy road man. I'm closer to my dreams though & that's all that matters....

Sunday, April 17, 2011

Straight Hair & Trim

My ends were horrible..about 2inches were hacked off. I didn't know my hair was so long. Shrinkage is motherfucker when you're natural. I'm thinking of getting my ends trimmed every 6wks or so... but not an inch. I'd have NO hair -___- Also, looking for a new product or concoction to protect my ends.

and you see after an hour my hair is already a victim of the humidity -_____- smh.

The Puff

I was bored with my hair. SO I found a scrunchy & realized that hair was now long enough to rock a high puffy pony without looking like a bald headed scallywag. Thus was birthed-- the PUFF.

 I looked REALLY young but I enjoyed my puff. I actually like having my hair out of my face. Shows off my wonderful cheek bones :)  & it was really easy to do. Moisturize hair with cantu shea butter.. gently gather hair in puff, brush up sides into pony--- grab spray bottle and mist hair to make it easier to pull into puff and bam. el freakin fin.