Friday, July 14, 2017

Sir Carter and Rumi

Queen Beyoncé Giselle Knowles Carter shared the first picture of her now one month old twins, Sir Carter and Rumi.

I'm DYING! Beyoncé petty ass waited until midnight to drop this iconic pic on Instagram! Remember she debuted Blue Ivy on tumblr at around the same age. I'm excited.
Beyoncé is the queen of unexpected drops.
She always breaks the internet.

When she announced her pregnancy in February 🖤
 And me because I'm extra AF 😭😭😭 I love Beyoncé! The Beyhive is still on maternity leave though... BUT WE COMING! 

Saturday, June 3, 2017

Let's Be Honest

I don't know what I'm doing.
I have no idea what I am doing with my life.
My life has become a series of unfortunate events that seem too dramatic to be real life.
My life is a made for tv drama.
Or a romantic comedy- minus the romance. Borderline psychological thriller.
My life is pathetic.

I often convince myself that things are better than they actually are.
I tell myself that I'm happy when I'm not in hopes that one day it'll be true.
I pretend that relationships are healthy when in reality it's killing me slowly.
I act tough when in fact I'm a mere shell of a person.
I'm weak.
I'm unstable.
I'm always moments away from crying.
I'm foolish.
I'm afraid.
I'm always making things more difficult than they need to be.

I can't speak up for myself.
It's easier to act like things don't affect me when every little thing does.\
I'm sensitive as fuck. My feelings are easily hurt. I am once again right where I said I'd never be..

Let's be honest for once in our lives. Let's learn to live a life worthy of living. Let's be real.
Let's open up and live the way we ought to live.

Monday, April 17, 2017

So I tried the Diva Cup

I have never been a fan of pads. I thought it was gross to be sitting in blood all day. So I went to tampons fairly early. Yet still there were issues with leaks and after reading the insert in the box on toxic shock syndrome-- I was terrified. Wtf was I inserting inside my vagina monthly?? Buying multiple sizes. Not knowing if I was still in my heavy flow stage or if a regular absorbency would suffice. Running to change my tampon every couple of hours so I won't have leaks because it's difficult to take multiple breaks when you work at a prison (so glad those days are over). It was just a hassle. So last year I had a last minute trip planned for the weekend to visit my bae... and my period came outta nowhere. So I googled how to get it to end earlier and it all worked but I ended up buying some indeed softcups to use during sex because I was definitely getting the dick that weekend! $600 flight? Oh bitch. And guess what they worked MAGICALLY. And were disposable. 😅😅😅 Crisis averted. Period sex can happen... But this ain't about those softcups. This is about...

The Diva Cup. 

I'm sure you've seen the commercials and thought "why would I stick that inside myself l?" Or are just freaking out about something foreign-- as if tampons and dicks are any less foreign, but no need for the dramatics. Your pussy will love you after this. 

So tips. Make sure you insert the cup properly. The box and website both include instructions on insertion that you must follow in order to have a pleasant experience. The magical trick is to rotate the cup 360 degrees to create a suction. This prevents leaks. If you don't... you might have a crime scene in your panties. 🤷🏾‍♀️ 

• No smell. Yea... you can't smell anything while the cup is inside. I know! How amazing. 
• Can keep the cup inside for up to 12hrs. This means you can sleep 😴 with it. Take a very long flight without having to change it. Very convenient. Your life doesn't have to pause because you need to change your tampon. Very handy if there's not a restroom nearby. 
• saves you money! Now the website suggested retail price is $39.99 BUT since I fucks with Amazon prime--- You can get the Diva Cup for $23.88. Boom. Free shipping with Prime. Get it. Save your coins. And it lasts about a year... maybe longer but $20 a year vs $9 for a box of tamping every month or so. 
• Shorter Cycle. Since all of the blood is freely flowing into the cup and NOT being plugged inside it appears that my period is a day shorter. Idk why. Or how. But yea girl. From 5 days to 4.

• You can't have sex. If you want to have mess free sex while on your period, try Indeed Softcups. 
• You have to empty it out and clean it yourself. Yea I know some of you are like gross blood- I have to clean it out then insert it again?! Yup. You do. Which is why I've only changed it out at home. I guess if you're out and about you could use a wipe or something but I'd just plan to be back home in 12hrs. 
• Insertion can be difficult. You have to fold it in have and make sure your grip is firm enough so the darn cup doesn't open up like an umbrella 🌂 against my labia and freaks me out because I'm trying to push the whole thing inside and it just won't fit 🤦🏾‍♀️ I have to be sitting on the edge of my bed in order to put the cup in. Maybe you can do it while squatting or propping a leg up on the toilet but the way my thighs are set up--- yea, I need to brace myself. 

That's really it. It's comfortable as hell. I forgot I was on my period. Not really having cramping. Not fearing about having all those toxic chemicals in tampons inside my vagina. Oh and the Diva Cup has lines for measuring the amount of fluid inside the cup. It holds up to 1/2 oz and I've noticed on my heavier days I'm just under the 1/4 oz line after 12hrs. The first day was literally half of that. It's really cool to be able to measure how much blood you lose each cycle. 

Try it out. Lemme know if you're joining the club. Or share your horror stories. 

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

I Don't Date Men With Children

As I grow older I am learning how to be more vocal about what I really want.

Of course for years I had convinced myself that I wanted certain things because I was conditioned to believe that was all I could have. I didn't let myself think that I could actually have everything that I wanted in regards to men and relationships with men. I believed that I'd have to settle for whatever was good enough instead of what was perfect for me. I had to find a fixer upper instead of my dream man.

Why is that?

Today while randomly scrolling my Facebook timeline I came across a post from some guy who was in my inbox and it mentioned how he had a bunch of kids. Somehow that triggered me to be slightly shady and post my quarterly reminder to all men who may be interested in pursuing me that I did not date men with kids.

Usually, I add a bonus comment on how I hate kids (which I don't-- I just like to ruffle the feathers of my Facebook friends because it's fun and I'm bored while scrolling) but this time I just kept it cute and sweet. Of course someone had to ask me why and when I simply reiterated my initial comment that I just don't date men with kids, she decided to give unsolicited advice on some age limit that was acceptable when dating a daddy.


Why do I have to make exceptions for men who would never grant that same luxury to me?

 I just don't want to date a man with kids. I want to have all of his attention. I want to be courted. I want my weekends to be kid free and not feel like I'm babysitting. I want what I want.

It's not like these men have one kid. No ma'am. These fuckers have multiple kids with different women- many of whom they never had an actual relationship with. So I'm just supposed to accept Mr.  irresponsible dick because I'm approaching 30 & apparently I need to lower my standards before I end up 40 and still single and childless? Funny.

These same men that you women are so gung-ho on me giving a chance wouldn't even look your way unless they needed a place to stay OR wanted a piece of income tax return.  Women are conditioned to take whatever seemingly nice guy that comes their way because allegedly having a piece of man is better than having no man at all.

Girl, bye.

Betty Wright wasn't right with that one.

We are not our mothers and grandmothers. We don't have to accept whatever comes our way because we fear being alone.

I spent years settling for the bottom of the barrel, ain't shit, disrespectful, lame excuses for men because I did not want to be single. The label of being was seen as a sign that I was somewhat damaged goods and no one wanted me. Now I'm at a point in my life where I know that settling gets you nowhere. If I don't like something, why waste time trying to make it work?

My preference is just that- MY PREFERENCE. Men speak out constantly about not wanting to draw women who wear weave/wigs or makeup. They don't want to date women who show too much skin. They only date skinny or petite women. They don't like women who smoke or go out. These are all preferences that we just accept.

But as soon as I say I don't date men with kids it's a problem? Cute.

Well y'all continue dating baby daddy's. I prefer not to.

And if I meet a dope as guy tomorrow who just so happens to have a kid from a previous relationship and I decide to date him--- that's that. And I'll be here to write about what made him so special that I didn't mind the kid-1-singular.