Friday, April 30, 2010
I think many of you have it twisted.. I'm not single because no guy wants me. I can direct you to the handful that I have turned down this year alone. Unlike many of you, I don't just get with a guy because he's cute & buys me shit. I know who & what I want & won't settle for less. So until I find someone who meets the qualifications, I will be single. El fin.
Don't feel sorry for me, or try to tell me why I'm single. You don't know me or the conversations I have with guys. You don't know how I try to be a FRIEND before I jump in a relationship with someone. I don't want to waste my time with a guy who I cannot even have a two minute conversation with. Tis all.
So how muchu like to seek for attention like its really sad that u do da most jus ppl can respound to ur stupid action.....grow up and stop being a slut....mand u neva gonna get a relationship because u are fucking crazy smh #datsall
Now, I normally would've deleted it but I felt the need to address this issue. Yes, I tweet about sex, smoking, drinking, head etc.. I tweet about politics, music, life, books & everything else as well. I tweet & blog to express myself, not for attention. If I really wanted attention I'd put on some booty short or my shortest, tightest dress- highest heels and go out to a club or something. This internet shit was NEVER for attention. I've been blogging for years. I just need an outlet to express myself at times. I can't just call up my friend or text her ALL of my random thoughts or rants. She'd get fed up with me, as I would with her or anyone else who did that.
The slut comment? Well I mean it is what it is. I like sex. I talk about it quite frequently.. Whether its about me getting it, not getting any or pleasing myself. Some may say this is the reason why I'm single but I was single when I was a virgin. I was single when I never talked about sex. I was single before I got on twitter. I was single before I started this blog. I NEVER talked about sex until quite recently. Read my earlier posts. They are all about love & relationships or music. Or my day.
None of the guys who I am pursuing read this damn blog or follow me on twitter. The one guy who does read my blog that I know about doesn't really mind my sex talk because the majority of them are directed towards him.
& My favorite comment: You're fucking crazy. I've been called crazy forever. I don't see it. I know who wrote this fucking comment. The damn Jamaican. He claims he didn't but its plagued with bad grammar & thats exactly how his bitch ass writes shit. I don't see why any person, him or anyone, would be upset at me because I seem to seek attention. Half of the time I'm writing to myself. I live in my head. If you don't like it- fuck you. I don't beg people to read my blog on twitter or my facebook or to reply to me. This is MY outlet. My place to express myself. Step your grammar up before you step to me. I will verbally assassinate you. El fin.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
This is actually from a note I wrote on facebook back in 2008. Enjoy :)
OK SO BACKGROUND INFO ON THIS NOTE.. ONE DAY ME AND EMCEE WERE TALKIN BOUT RANDOM ISH LIKE ALWAYS AND I DECIDED TO COME UP WITH A VERY EDUCATED ANSWER TO A VERY SIMPLE QUESTION. WITH THIS CAME MY JUSTIFICATION FOR THE TWO TATTOOS THAT I HAVE..
THE HALF-BUTTERFLY ON MY SHOULDER BLADE AND THE 3 STARS ON MY ANKLE. EVERYONE IS ALWAYS LIKE "YOUR TATTOOS DON'T HAVE MEANINGS.. BLAH BLAH BLAH" HECK YES THEY DO.. READ AND ENJOY
My favorite number is 8...This is why.
I was born in the year 88~duh... my fave number twice (8 & 8)
I was born on the 16th day of the 9th month
half of 16 is 8, & the cubic root of 9 is 3
if u cut the number 8 down the middle it makes two 3s, mirroring each other
which are the shapes of butterfly wings....
i have half a buttefly on my shoulder blade and 3 stars on my ankle....
(3s represent wings...)
Half of 8 is 4, and as i earlier stated, cubic root of 9 is 3
i graduated high school in 07...4+3=7, which is considered a lucky number
That is the mathematical reason why my favorite number is 8 with its significance to me...
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
".. matter fact, give me 15 minutes & bag of bud I bet I bust."
Monday, April 26, 2010
Banana's in Pajamas Theme Song
Gullah Gullah Island: (My favorite skit! Jump in Jump Out Introduce yourself)
There are SO many other shows.. I'll save them for another day :):)
They'd go out to the club & let me tag along using one of their friends IDs to get in. Before we'd go there I'd go through the long process of taking my hair out of the uniform high ponytail so that it swung down my back. My girlish clothing was traded in for something short, tight & revealing paired with some tall heels that made me feel sexy. Then I'd take off my glasses and pile on the makeup. I was blind as a bat but damn it I looked GOOD.
This started as a 'club' thing or just something i did when I hung out with my older sisters but eventually it made its way into my everyday wardrobe. I had platform boots, mini skirts, high splits, tight capris, tight jeans-- everything to make me STAND OUT. This would've been okay but I was only in the 8th grade! Traded in my glasses for contacts & thats all she wrote. Cut my hair. Got a relaxer. Became a cheerleader so that I could get EVEN closer to the guys. Practiced my walk daily to get it right. Had to make sure I had just enough swivel to catch the guys attention. & of course I did.
I was no longer the fat girl; the smart black girl; the chick with the glasses; marcus' little sister-- I was ME. I had my own identity. This is when all of the girls in my lil city began to hate me. The same year I gained some confidence I lost most of my 'friends'. Why? Because they said I thought I was all that. They were right. I did. I had to though.
I didn't mind. I had the attention from every dude in Huntsville. I'd walk through the hallways of HHS and everyone knew my name. Every guy wanted to fuck me. Some even wanted to date me. A select few did. *shrugs* It bee like that :).
I lived a double life. Still kept my grades up. Still was the smart black girl. I just had a lil oomph. Drinking. Smoking. Club hopping. Sex. Sneaking out. Lying. I did it all. No really, I did it all. By the time I graduated high school there really wasn't anything I hadn't tried.
Which is why at 21 I'm sort of burned out. I hate clubs. I drink to socialize, not to get drunk. I like to have fun but my idea of fun is now going to the zoo or aquarium (things I should have been enjoying as a child). I grew up too fast. I lost my virginity because I was told i should. Everyone was doing it. I just wanted to get it over with. Scheduled it with a random guy who I had knew for awhile.. He wasn't my boyfriend. Just a dude I was cool with. SMH.
I still use my strut to get guys attention.. I just wish I would've waited a little longer to do things. I wish I would have only had sex with guys I had a real genuine relationship with and not just a guy who I like or thought was cute or who just happened to be around when I was horny or just because I saw he had a big peen. *sigh*. I wish I would have only had sex with the guy I loved.
I should have waited. So to all of my sisters, my real younger sister & all of the others who may read this: It may look fun now but looking back you'll see that you missed out on your youth.. You missed out on having FUN. You grew up too fast. You don't have to have sex with him to keep him. If he leaves you because you won't give him any, then its HIS loss. You're worth way more than that. You don't have to yearn to be grown up because you WILL be a grown up one day. Sex will not keep a man or make some guy like you. He will like your sex, but not really you. I just wish somebody would have told me that when I was 15. Instead I'm here telling you to WAIT.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
The Rules to having a purely sexual relationship with NOTHING more than just sex. No strings attached, nothing.
1. We are not friends. We’re just having sex.
The number one rule that is always broken. Once you have an inkling of some type of feelings for the other, you no longer have a purely sexual relationship. The most powerful connection is one between friends. Easiest way to fall for someone is to first become their friend. If you just want them to be your sex toy, don’t begin ANY type of relationship with them.
2. All communication should be kept at a minimum just to schedule in a sex date.
Texting them all day will break the FIRST rule thus ruining this purely sexual fling. If you’re texting/calling or communicating on a constant basis about your day, life, future plans you are becoming more… More than what you should be. Feelings are being formed. You’re falling. STOP.
No flirty texts. No sexting. All correspondence should be as follows: “When are you free?” “Would you like to meet up then?” “I’ll bring the condoms” “Okay bye” – That’s IT.
3. No kissing, no foreplay, JUST SEX.
Kissing is the most passionate thing you can do. Don’t kiss them. Don’t engage in foreplay. Just HAVE SEX! If you do anything more you will fall for them.
4. No hanging out.
Are you guys watching a movie? STOP. If you’ve been around each other for longer than 10mins and nothing has happened, its time to leave. You are NOT a friend. You are just there for sex.
5. No cuddling.
Simple. Cuddling is just too much. Too close.
Break any of these five rules and you might as well become more.. You’re catching feelings. Eventually you will want more.
Also, all sexual flings should last less than 6 months. You should have sex no more than 3 times a month. If less than that, the sexual fling can be extended to up to a year. That is all. After that, cease ALL COMMUNICATION & move on.
It’s no secret that I may have dabbled in the herbal essence a few times but I refuse to spend a day smoking, even if others say its a “holiday”. Boo that ish. If you wanna smoke, do it. You don’t need a set day.. I mean, I wonder how many random drug tests are going on today the twenty-first?? hmmm.
#ShoutOuts to all the dudes who don’t like for their chicks to smoke.
Dude: “I think its unattractive when a female smokes” Me: “Oh really?” *blows smoke in face*
It BEEs like that. I’m gangsta like that.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
I have a thing for guys who are 1,000 miles away or who doesn’t even know I exist. Why? I don’t know. It’s always been this way. I fall so damn hard & fast. Ridiculously fast. The bad thing is I never know when to let go. How long is too long to be obsessed with some guy??? How long can you stay friends with someone before you feel like its time to take the plunge into something MORE?
How long am I going to write Mrs. _____ all over my binders nshit? How long am I going to name our kids?? I mean little Parker Brielle & Aleia Michelle are dying to meet daddy… How long will I stalk your myspace, facebook, & twitter dying to see if you have any new pictures or videos?? How long will I talk about you to my friends about you & they say “Oh my. You love him…” & I brush it off like “No.. I don’t love him..” but I honestly don’t know if it’s love or not. I just know that I would love to see where this could go & what this could be.
Blah. I’m sorry you guys. Sometimes I just have a moment. Blame the hormones. I do have a legit problem. I never know when to let go, fall back, move one.. The same guy I was crushing on in 2008 is the very guy I am still madly & deeply into right now in 2010. Sad. Brittney is consistent. Okay I’m done.. for now.
I feel like making a video to that song. I have a GREAT idea Drake. Call me up.. We can talk business. I mean you don’t have to put me in it but I do think I’d be great on camera. I’ve been working out JUST for this. You need a sexy video strictly for the ladies. I know ‘Best I Ever Had’ didn’t really do it for your female fans so if Shut It Down IS a single the video has to be female friendly. I wanna see abs or some ish. I’m not going to give away ALL of my ideas but yeah.. hit me up at firstname.lastname@example.org so we can talk. I’ll do it for free too. That’s the homie hook up. I just wanna meet you :). Or talk. That’s all. I’m obsessed. Let me interview you for Vividly Bland!!!!!!!!! That would be awesome. I have the questions now. =] So we can do the interview in exchange for my great treatment idea?! Cool.
Monday, April 19, 2010
My future Husband Drake won Rap Recording of the Year for "So Far Gone" and New Artist of the Year :):) Yay Drizzy!!
"I say please put away the cameras,
We just in the club getting MC Hammered
God forbid I ever trade the wisdom for the glamour,
I know i'm just a boy that a woman can make a man of..
So make me one I know that she can make me one
I just want a woman who looks 30 when she's 81.
Please don't give it all away I hope that she can save me some
Justin why dnt you tell em where your Baby from"
Its sad that women today feel the only way to obtain a little level of fame is to sleep with rappers & THEN air them out. I mean, if you REALLY wanna get the rappers for all they got you have to know how to work it. You better read "Confessions of a Video Vixen" again Kat Stacks. You see what Karrine did? She became "friends" with these rappers. They were all cool with her for years & then once they cut her off she gathered all of her information and made a book. You should've worked your ass into at least ONE Young Money video. C'mon now!
Kat Stacks is the dumbest bitch on twitter right now. & that's real.
who knew this upkeep was gonna be so hard. ugh. I feel like not even getting any head. I don't want a bald kitty.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Maybe I’m just not hip at all.. but I’m all for snitching. I refuse to go to jail for some fake ass ‘loyalty to the streets’ bull. Well I don’t come from the streets but still. If you do some foul ass shit & they actually have enough information to come question ME about me, trust I’m letting the cat out of the bag. Lil Kim spent a year in jail for another.. Couldn’t & Wouldn’t be BEE. If you’re going to kill someone, shoot someone or do some other off the wall illegal shit, keep it to yourself and don’t tell me. I promise I’m telling it ALL. I come first.
In 2010 you shouldn’t be afraid to tell the truth. lol. Lying will get you caught up your damn self. Okay. I’m done.
How can you NOT be ready for a relationship with someone you’ve been hanging out with & smashing for the last few months? The real answer is YOU DON’T WANT TO BE INVOLVED WITH THEM! & for good reason. You’re getting everything you want or need from that person without having to admit that you’re taken.
You are free to smash any female you want because of a wack ass technicality. You’re single. Blah.
How many times have I been somewhere with a friend who says she can’t wear a certain outfit because “he’s gonna get mad” or HE doesn’t want her to talk to any other guys. This same motherfucker who just told you he wasn’t ready for a damn relationship is acting like he is your father/man right now by dictating what you can or cannot wear & who you can or cannot associate yourself with. It’s like he’s staking a claim on the land that is your BODY so that no other person can snatch up your gold mines first. Hmph! How selfish!
Don’t go through my call logs & inbox to see who I’m communicating with if WE can’t open up the lines of communication and become more than just a ‘friend with benefits’.
See you got it all fucked up. The benefits part means that we are friends, we hang out & fuck around but we don’t have to do all that checkin in ish. We don’t have to just be with you. We can fuck whoever. Talk to whoever. Hang out with WHOEVER. All the perks of a relationship without the drama. But if you are just going to be my bed bud, you must follow the RULES. If you find yourself getting jealous or wanting to break those ‘rules’, I advise you to reevaluate the situation. Maybe you should make it official. Put a title on it. Change that good ol’ facebook status to in a relationship with Bee Sayuri Michelle & we can make this thang OFFICIAL. Until then. I guess you can just be ‘complicated’ lmao.
But seriously, my fellow women, & MEN, who are out here technically SINGLE, please do the right thing. Don’t question them, & don’t let them question you. You’re single so act like it. :)
**Actually, I don’t care if you ARE my man.. I don’t think that I’d actually stop wearing mini dresses or short shorts because you say so.. Maybe that’s why I’m single**
I’m so vividly bland. Cameras are flashing & I’m in my own little world. People are socializing all around me & I’m in my zone with a red cup downing vodka straight. No chaser. Why? Because I’m bad ass like that. Hmmm.. I just noticed how short I am. True alcoholics make their bottles look pretty with a black light. If you can’t stand the heat get out of the kitchen.
Sometimes I run,
Sometimes I hide,
Sometimes I'm scared of you...
But all I really want is to hold you tight,
Kiss you right,
Be with you day & night..
Baby all I need is time.
Sad that Britney Spears is the only shit that can explain how I'm feeling right now.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
If I ever meet Drake, I have a list of things to discuss with him. Mostly about his sudden departure from Degrassi. I need to know how did the stem cell research go in Europe & if he can walk again. I need to know if he was EVER able to have an erection. I need to know if Jimmy's parents are still together or did he tell him mom about the affair Mr. Brooks was having with his secretary. Yes, Jimmy you NEED to talk to me about this. I hate that they just dropped my favorite characters off like that.. I grew up with Jimmy & Paige, Spinner, Emma, Manny, Liberty.. the WHOLE gang. I cried when Jimmy got shot. I cried when JT was stabbed and killed. I learned that you can get STDs from giving head because of Emma being in the ravine. SMH.
I'm just saying, Drizzy, call me up. All you have to do is FOLLOW me on twitter, send me a DM, & we'll chop it up. OR how about you holla at me after your show May 20th in Houston =]=]=] that would be GRAND