Thursday, December 31, 2009
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Oh & did you know that Beyonce covered it on the I am.. Tour??
just another reason to love it ;) So here are the lyrics. ENJOY. Listen. Feel the intensity of Bey's voice.. then listen to Alanis. Download it. Its worth it...
I want you to know, that I'm happy for you
I wish nothing but the best for you both
An older version of me
Is she perverted like me
Would she go down on you in a theatre
Does she speak eloquently
And would she have your baby
I'm sure she'd make a really excellent mother
'cause the love that you gave that we made wasn't able
To make it enough for you to be open wide, no
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me you'd hold me
Until you died, till you died
But you're still alive
And I'm here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It's not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You, you, you oughta know
You seem very well, things look peaceful
I'm not quite as well, I thought you should know
Did you forget about me Mr. Duplicity
I hate to bug you in the middle of dinner
It was a slap in the face how quickly I was replaced
Are you thinking of me when you fuck her?
I ate good. I looked rough. and I didnt do shit. Haven't been to Hville in awhile. I need to visit my fam soon.
No NYE plans. Im too cool for that.
soo.. in case internet goes out again
***HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU AND YOURS FROM THE STAFF AT VIVIDLY BLAND***
yes i know im the only staff. but me, myself, & i wish you the bestest.
believe that I LOVE Prince Rogers Nelson.. Mr Purple Rain Himself. He's one of the reasons why i LOVE the color purple.. & you know i LOVe my MIEUSICK
i have good music taste i believe. im addicted to love songs. mainly the love i'd die for kill for or the the love that hurts you.. or when the one that you love hurts you.
I Would Die 4 U speaks to me tho.. YOu can't youtube this. YOu have to BUY this. Yes.. Good music MUST be paid for :)
Saturday, December 19, 2009
It's really irksome to hold the damn phone for that freaking long.
Her name is Stacy. & she loves to blog. She writes about 10 a day. Random yet interesting...
come on now. if it isn't true then dont post it. i can easily be an "inside source veryyyy close to the celebrity". and im not.
im not reading that shit anymore..
gonna start a new blog called mediatakeoutsucks.com
dnt steal my idea..
This was my latest tweet. It made me wonder as soon as I posted it...
How far have we REALLY come in the last 15 years? Okay so we have a Black President-- A big accomplishment but that isn't really solving any problems. We still have a wide abundance of insecure girls who feel that they must have sex with a guy for him to care about and LOVE her. There are still father's who are not taking care of their children. There are still too many women who have kids and do NOT know who the father of their babies' are.
The Maury Show may be full of fuckery but it shows EXACTLY what is wrong with our country and OUR people. Women testing 3+ men and ALL of them aren't the father?! I don't know whats more upsetting; the fact that you had sex with so many men in that small time frame that you don't know who could be the father or that you're having unprotected sex with all of these men. This is not 1980. Everyone is fully aware of HIV & AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases/infections.
Instead of testing for DNA, maury should give all of the people on his show a blood/urine test and see exactly what kind of 'situation' they are really working with. Thats all that i'm thinking about when i watch that show..
As women you must take the initiative to protect yourself if he doesn't seemed that worried about it. You can carry condoms in your purse. Hell you carry everything else in there. I even have condoms in my backpack-- you never know! Better yet, if he doesn't want to use protection Don't have sex with him-- Don't have sex with a guy you are not exclusively involved with.
Maybe I should not sound so preachy because I am no better than anyone. I have had unprotected sex before. I have had sex with a guy I am not exclusively involved with. I have been that girl JUST like you. I'm just trying to be real.
Maybe if a little girl had a father who told her she was beautiful everyday she wouldn't feel the need to hear a man say it while he's inside of her to make her feel life she is worth it. Maybe if a mother talked to her daughter openly & honestly she would know better and wouldn't fall for those stupid lines these guys tell. Maybe a father should be a better example for his son so that he can know what a real man is.. Maybe just maybe.
And this is why she is the shit. She doesn't care that everybody hated the cut or said she needed an edge up. Blahhhh. I feel the same way sometimes when ppl tell me I need to get a perm or STRAIGHTEN my hair. No I don't. I like my fro. If I want straight hair i can BUY some. I don't need your acceptance, praise or compliments. I think I should name my hair..
Thursday, December 17, 2009
I can not drive to save my life.
Even when I wear a belt, a wee bit of crack shows in my jeans so I end up saying fuck it and make sure i wear full bottom panties that are cute.
I hate dieting so I just but empire waist dresses and call it a day. Hips aren't in the equation.
Most of my dresses, regardless of width, end up becoming more fitted instead of flowy at the hips..
I kind of like Lil Wayne. Reminds me of my childhood.
First time I heard the block is hot-- i met brandon :)
soldier reminds me of ahem.. Mike & B. lmao..
the list goes on & on..
lollipop is freshman year @ Spelman.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
check my twitter-- @BeeMichelle
I didn't know this then but now its very easy for me to see why. My own insecurities made me do the things I did. I needed some validation from the opposite sex to feel beautiful; to feel wanted. And what better way to get that validation then from taking some guy away from his girlfriend??
This was successful at first when you didn't even have to use sex to get a guy. You know back in the days when looks alone could make him say damn, you're wayy "badder" than my current--- let me upgrade.
After that it has to be known that sex will be used to get a man.. Yeah you THINK this works until you realize that no matter how good your pussy is, he still probably wont leave his gf from you. WHY?!
Easy. He has the best of both worlds. Loving relationship with his boo & great sex from you. What ELSE could he want? I know! RIMS! & im sure your vagina isn't 22' or better.
I remember when I met 21; I was a sophomore in high school. Not really one to ask questions like "do you have a gf" because I was soo excited that he was older, had his own car, could pick me up when he wanted to, let me drive the whip, roll up with me.. etc. I mean if you have read my blog you pretty much know about me and 21. smh..
Initially I didn't know he had a gf but by the time I found at he had one I was too deep in it just to quit. This is how I became the other woman my default. So many lines I was fed. Main reason being that I was technically too young to be with him but when I turned 18 we'd make it "official". He wasn't with her anymore.. Only with her because she was pregnant.. etc. ALL the bull shit. Bad thing is she called my phone so many times and he always had to call & persuade me not to tell her. Even after our physical relationship ended and we were just friends.. He had to bribe me not to tell lol. If I wouldn't have opened up my big mouth about keying his car, his girl would have NEVER known that I was indeed the Brittney he was seeing-- Not some white girl @ SHSU. smh
I knew better. Should have just nipped it in the bud from the beginning but I was in it for good i guess. This caused drama to go OOOON & OOON for years even after I QUIT communicating with 21. Hell if were to write a blog about her today she'd be calling me tomorrow trying to start something even though she is no longer with him.
Sometimes you become the "other woman" by accident. Yes I have been this woman too. I know SHAME on me!! smh but its not entirely my fault. Okay so it was. Smh. It all started with this friend I had. We were so cool. I knew he had a girlfriend whom he talked about all the time and he knew I was doing whatever i was doing back then. We talked about everything. He was one of my closest guy friends. Of course with us sharing everything, sex came up and he too became sexually attracted to me. I had a crush on him too but I never crossed that line. I kept my feelings to myself because I knew that wasn't right. *sigh* flash forward to one drunken night & everything changed. We both became so drunk that innocent dancing turned into groping and grinding and next thing I know we're in his car making out. Man oh man.. that led to us going back to his room & having sex. Which then turned into us having sex again.. & again.. & again.. You get the picture?? I thought it was 'ok' because he & his gf were on a break..
But then that break was over I basically gave him the ultimatuum. "Dump her or no more sex with me" It came to that POINT. Of course this story is a tad bit different than most. You see he told me how he WISHED he knew me first-- he always had a crush on me.-- if things were different he'd be with me-- he wants to be with me but he still loves her & they've been together soo long. Yeah I heard all of those lines. Fell for em too. I was becoming too involved again.
In the end you'll be happy to know that I didn't have sex with him while he was with his gf anymore until way after they broke up. Even though he broke up with his girlfriend, i mean his girlfriend broke up with HIM smh he NOW wasn't really wanting to be in a relationship. Of course not!! He was in one for years! why would he jump into ANOTHER one. He can be free & do whatever. He thought that i'd be happy he was single. Nope. Still wasn't with me. SMH
I could write about this forever but then you wouldn't buy the book.. "The Other Woman" coming soon... a Personal memoir.. :) we haven't even touched on musical influences, media, ettc.. family matters. all those other contributors.
just because i want implants doesn't mean im insecure about my boobs. i wrote a whoooole post bout my insecurities.. well most of em; boobs aren't on the list..
im more insecure about my ass than my boobs. WHY?!
i always think that a guy is only interested in me because 1) he heard that I LOVE sex & thinks that translates to im easy..
2) he likes my ass
Its an automatic assumption because majority of the men i meet comment on my body within the first 5mins of conversing with me if not the first 5sec they see me. smh
somebody told me its bc of the clothes i wear. i say bullshit. i get more attention in sweats and a hoodie. there is no hiding my ass.
If i wear a short dress, im just showing off my legs. low cut shirt its the B cups. Jeans & Tee?? hell regular lookin ass. baggy clothes. whatever.. i still get attention. my clothes dont make or break me. you're stupid.
you see me; you wanna fuck. i get it.
If i were to be with every guy who likes me I'd be unhappy because I don't have mutual feelings of attraction towards them. Is it my fault? NO! Not at all. I've eased up on my list or requirements but I wont just say yes to someone because I dont want to be single. Im not desperate. smh
I dont like being single but i mean why is it my fault that nobody is quite right for me?? I know i've been single for awhile but damn.. I try lol.
If there is any lesson I've learned its that just because your friends can fall in love and be in a relationship with a guy they started out purely physical with doesnt mean you'll have the same luck. "why buy the cow..."
I wish the gap between my two front teeth would go away again. I tried to get braces but i couldn't. Why? Because I'd end up with spaced out or stacked teeth for years and years all to close ONE gap that isn't even a MM wide. I know its there tho. It closed up for a good two yrs and just came back recently. wtf? I hate it. I really do.
I wish I could get rid of the stretch marks on my hip and ass. Reminds me that regardless of how skinny i get, those bitches will always be there. Its not my fault that Im juicy fruit. I dont know how i got them. they just popped up one day. I even considered getting tat'd over it. smh
I wish i could get rid of the fat around my belly. I wish I could control my eating and work out more. I wish I wish I wish.. I'll keep the ass and thighs and cellulite if only the tummy would go away. thats all..
I wish i didnt have to straighten out my kinky curls. I love my fro but i dont like how fat my face looks now so im straightening it out bc of my own insecurities. my fro is beautiful.. I love my coils. I just dont like that I look more chubby with my fro =[
It's you; You always seem to come back at the oddest times. wtf is up with you?? ughh One minute you're like "i love you & i know you love me... Why don't you move in with me rent free?" & then i look at your facebook a couple of hours later and i see you're in "LOVE" with your girlfriend too. Hmmm i mean, feed me those lines boy. Ironically enough you changed your relationship status AFTER i said i didn't wanna shack up. Its cool tho. I will still be in LA with or without your free rent offer.
and then there is YOU. you know who. you complain about not being able to see me for soo long and when im finally within five miles of your residence, you want to pick a fight. you want to be a bitch. you want to be the ass that you are. Like wtf I look like going to the movies with you when I have to buy MY ticket, DRIVE myself there and back, pick out the movie.. I mean damn, why are you even there?? I can easily go to the movies by myself if im gonna have to pay and drive anyways. thats the ONLY reason why you were asked. i dont like driving.
Its just so annoying with you because the issue of money always seems to come up. I have never asked you for MONEY unlike other girls. Also unlike those other chicks, i refuse to buy you shit either. Maybe that is the problem. If you want me to pay for your company I might as well have one thats finer than you. Hell if ima pay, ima make it worthwhile...
Sunday, December 6, 2009
I had a feeling that I should get married and have a kid. Oookay so the forced proposal went nowhere but i did find a hand full of guys who were willing to impregnate me RIGHT now. Hmm funny.
I cant even find a movie date let alone a guy whose willing to be in a monogamous relationship with me but I can finda plent of dudes who want to be the father of my unfertilized little egg. REally now?!
What has the world come to?? AM i that bad of a person?? can't even get a date.. but a baby? wow. my life sucks.
WHY? you ask...
Well.. there was this guy, you know THAT guy. I was trying to be whatever he wanted me to be. Do whatever he wanted me to do.. Just so I could be "one with him". Hmmm.. Well after all these years I've realized taht we are still at this same place. I have to let go sometimes.. but its so hard to. I love him. He loves me (he says so at least..) but we can't be together. We never will. Ugh. Don't play with my emotions. Make a commitment or else.
I could be that girl who physically forces a guy to put a ring on it but I mean it isn't worth it if he still wants to go out and cheat. Age doesn't mean shit. It'll never change.