Tuesday, October 21, 2008

like a boy..

snip snip..
yes you heard right..
i've cut all my hair off..
chop chop..
but i mean, it was coming, did you see it coming??
i did..
i mean.. I'm trying to get it back to a healthier state.. soo yeah
its all gone..
but i kept my bangs..
sucks cuz she didn't cut it how i wanted it cut..
but I'm glad she did what she had to do..
its a little reminiscent of rhianna but i'm okay with it.
everytime live your life comes on everyone looks at me..
or take a bow.
but yeahh
its all gone..
feels good..
like a release..
i'm finally free :)
but yeah other than that..
life is good.
its homecoming week.. thats bout it.

Friday, October 17, 2008

dear lie; you indeed suck.

Friends. But not the typical 'friends' like i call my girls Teri & Tonya~ or my ATL friends; Emz, Jamiere & Mea--
The type of friend in which you give wayy more than you receive. Why do I need a friend like that? That's why I don't think I want 'friends' anymore :)
Because if we're gonna be FRIENDS then we must conduct ourselves in a 'friendly manner'. Ahem, strictly friends.. and of course WE must tell each other EVERYTHING.. Because me and my friends have NO secrets :) :) :) hehehe!!!
Anywho, i'm done with that.. I still like *** and i can't wait until i get home in november so i can see him :) :) :)
ask me why Otis called me the other night~ hahaha, hilarious. Dude needs to know that I.. never mind.
Ahhhh! I made a guy freak out; i have skills.
yes.. I know. I'm finally accepting things for the way they truly are. I'm accepting that my body will not be like anyone else that I know because genetically speaking I am not meant to be a size 0-7 .. I have hips & thighs.. and butt. So these curves are somewhat hard to cover up.. I'm cool with not being typical.. Its easy for me to get back to that size though but the process isn't worth it. Someone is always gonna say, "oh well if you did THIS, then you'd be badd" WTF?! BADD?? wow.. dude i look fab regardless of my weight cuz i work it no matter what :)
AND who wants to cut out the tasty food from the diet? I like fried & fast foods.. Salads are gross. As long as I eat meat, my ass is staying.
But we're toning it up =] i shall be showing off my bod all year.
oh and my boobs are still growing. gross. if i get into a C; i'm crying..cuz big boobs & ass start to look a bit porn star ish.. and i'm already a lil chubawub soo stackishness is not gonna help the look.
tomorrow i'm cutting all my hair off.. :) i mean, its not too much more to chop off.. i've been cutting off lil bits and pieces since i came out here.. i was gonna start all over and go back natural.. but umm yeah, i realize that my hair is really thick without a relaxer soo yeah.. its coming off so i can just get it back to its naturally permed state :)
so umm any suggestions? i already have ideas.. some rhianna inspired crop but not quite.. umm i'm thinking more of a tia mowry look.. mixed with a little kelis bossy. hmmm
5:16 PM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos -

Sunday, October 12, 2008

you're just a boy..

soo.. why do i only seem to attract guys who ALREADY have girls??


like everyone who i'm attracted to has a girlfriend already..

ugh. it sucks!

Where are all the single MEN hiding?

have you heard the new Beyonce?? If i were a boy is my fave.. love it. single ladies can eat it.

midterms are this week. struggling is the key word here.. smh
this sucks.


oh yea,

i like a boy.. a boy likes me.. but i rather be single.
yeah. i'm a loser.


the jamaican has a girlfriend.. LMAO

i know right?! how did that happen?? hmm
no hard feelings though;
me and him can still be friends.. i swear.

i'm done.


Friday, October 3, 2008

if you're easily offended.. don't click here =]

So for the past few years I have been questioning my OWN religious beliefs. I have always wondered why there were SO many different religions in the world and if "Christianity" was even the right one.. What if we're all really supposed to be worshipping the sun God or something? What if I die, and go to "heaven" and realize that dang.. this is NOT what the bible said.
I just need answers. So, as I came to Spelman I was exposed to different cultures and ideologies and philosophies so I have a chance to think for myself. I never liked going to church when I was younger. I always felt that it was weird to sit in a building and listen to a "fellow sinner" tell me how I am supposed to live my life only to find out that he was doing more wrong than I ever could. And why are there so many different types of christians?? How am I supposed to follow something in which there is not really any basis of it being TRUE other than what some white man chose to include in a book for us to read. Some sources even say that many gospels weren't included in the bible.. Hmm.. interesting.
And if God created the earth in 7 days, who created God? How did he come about? How do we know that its a He? Why aren't women playing a dominant role in the bible?
I believe that religion was created just to CONTROL people. Rulers needed a way to keep people in line and in order by telling them if they did THIS, the consequences would the THAT. Or they wanted to appear smarter than everyone else so they had to make up stories and explanations as to why certain things happened.
And if we all can agree that Africa was the birthplace of civilization, then we can also agree that the Africans were practicing there own form of religion before the Whites (ie: all non blacks, africans, conquerers from Europe) came and introduced Christianity to them. You see, it all goes back to the White Man's Burden Ideology; that it was the more civilized white's/european's job to come to Africa and help us become civilized and accept this Christian faith because the Africans didn't know any better.. They were still living primitively!
What in the world is THIS? Why should I have to believe some religion that these looney obviously power hungry europeans forced my ancestors to accept 100s of years ago??
Plus, i believe that the bible contradicts itself alot. And I don't believe that if God loved us all so much, why would he condemn all of us "non-believers" to Hell?? Shouldn't he forgive us in death once we have realized that maybe we were mistaken, maybe this was the real deal?!
And alot of christians just aren't the best people in the world. they still kill people and rape young girls and committ all of this wrong doing in the world and they think that just by asking GOD to forgive them, there forgiven?
And they are GAY which the bible is strictly against, yet still be up in the church every freaking day praising him like they are holy and saved? If you believe in this bible then you would know that your lifestyle isn't "right" according to it.
I have nothing against gay/bisexual/lesbian/transgender etc.. I have very close friends who are gay or just curious. I don't think its wrong, but the bible says it is. And if you believe in the bible, why would you still be gay? Unlike other sins, some believe that you can't help who you like or who you're attracted to so will my gay friend be banished from Heaven because they fell in love with the wrong person?
If I live my life to the best of my abilities as a non christian, and I don't do any wrong to anyone; I help those in need; I am always fair and just and never once do I steal or Kill or commit any of those major sins; I will still go to Hell because I believed in Allah and not God. Or I worshipped Buddha or the Goddess Osiris or whatever..
Of course, I know that you may want to know what my beliefs are. I am not ATHEIST because I do believe in a higher being, I just don't know if its the God that most of you believe in. So that would make me Agnostic.
I do believe that there is a purpose to my life and I am supposed to do "something" but I also believed that some aspects of my life have already been pre-determined, like my birth and death dates. I know that there would not be people and animals and all of this in the world today if there wasn't a greater purpose. And I don't believe that we will cease to exist after death. I believe in an afterlife.. maybe not Heaven, but an afterlife nonetheless.
You can try to change my philosophy all you want, it doesn't bother me. I believe what I believe. =]

hate it or love it..
we're all going to die anyways :)