Am I ready to be a stepmother? Am I ready to love another woman's child wholeheartedly because I love the father? Can I be a positive role model in this child's life? Am I mature enough to understand that his children come first??
These are questions I often ask myself... Whether I like it or not, the man of my dreams may have children with another woman. It takes a lot to actually be apart of a man's life with kids. You're suddenly thrown in the role of parent and some just aren't ready for that. I question my own maturity at times. Will I truly love this child as my own and not be catty as some women are and use this child as a way to get closer to the father for my own selfish reasons? Will I be a bitch towards the mother? Will I be jealous of the child when he receives the attention from his father instead of me??
I guess it's easy for me to see all aspects of this situation.. Dealings with baby mamas and children from previous relationships because I am somewhat a product of that environment. I have wonderful women in my life who are not my biological mothers but I loved them as mother figures growing up. Eventually all adults began to get along with one another. Great family unit. No animosity or drama. And I even gained a great extended family that I still communicate with today.
I feel like I am almost ready to be a stepmother. Almost because I'm not 100% sure I can be a wife just yet, but I will rock as a girlfriend. And I don't want the biological mother of my potential step kids to feel as if I'm trying to be their mother. Because I am not a parent. I am just who this particular father chooses to be with... Now. Things may change. I have a pure heart with everything.. And pure intentions. I just want to be with the man that I love. And if he already has kids I hope to grow to love them as much as or more than I love their father simply because I love HIM.
Of course I have my own issues. I may become jealous because he has children with women whom I assume he didn't really love yet he loves me and we have yet to create life together. But I am a 24 year old woman who is seeing her classmates and friends all get married and start families and this has convinced my biological clock to tick erratically and yea... But that is for another post. I think I may be ready... I will never know until I try though. The things we do for love.