Monday, April 18, 2016

Anthony... smh

There comes a time when you just have to say fuck it and move on.

I recently did that this year. It seems that the bulk of this blog revolves around ONE guy. I hate that. 8 years of content that 80% relates back to Anthony. Now I can say his name. I can type it out without worrying about any backlash or how people may view me to know that I was obsessed with an aint shit nigga for 10 years. Yea, the story of Anthony & I is older than this blog. So where am I today? I'm childless and living a less stressful life without that tumor of a person attached to my brain. 

He sucked all the life out of me. I didnt even know how to be myself without him which is why I held on for so long. He made so many promises and never came through on any of them. I've cried many nights thinking about him. I didnt want to live without him. I gave him my last many times before and still nothing was given back to me. Do you know how it feels to love someone wholeheartedly and not have that same amount of love reciprocated? 

even as I typed that I have to admit that I was a major part to blame., 

Was I 100% dedicated to him? Hell no! So can I honestly sit here and play victim because my feelings are hurt???? I'd like to. I'd like to tell the story of how Anthony cheated on me and had 3 whole babies while we were together but the funny thing about life is--- HE WAS NEVER MY BOYFRIEND.

WAIT. 10 years of fucking and this guy was never your man?? See it gets complicated.

We met my senior year and I hounded him to be my boyfriend for awhile so he agreed.. Then in classsic Brittney fashion I informed him that I was going to Spelman and would most likely meet my husband there so why bother with a title when Im leaving in August. I honestly dont know how that made him feel but years later he told me.. I cant write that because its his story to tell & even though I am not in a great space with him i cant just do him that dirty.

So for years after that there was a constant back & forth between us. Me alway holding him down. Being best friends. Discussing new women with me... And still fuckin inbetween.

my friends all hated him. They saw how hurt I was each time he'd tell me he didnt want a girlfriend then wife the next bitch after me. Making me feel as if I was only good for physical relations and nothing more. But Im a big girl. I allowed it. So I should be played. I caught him walking out my neighbors house. Yes, he was fuckin my neighbor. He fucked my manager when we worked at walmart together. Almost fought her. Fucked this chick I confronted him about in Nasty's. Oh she has his 3rd child--- 

Oh yea. His family doesn't know about her. Sorry

You know what... Im not mature enough to finish this.

Dont give a guy your time and energy when he shows you his true intentions off the top. Men dont really change. If he's aint shit at 21 not much changes at 31. Be wise. Fuck niggas. Live for you. An

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