Sunday, October 2, 2011
Another Love Lost
Am i finally ready to let it all go.....? Idk. I honestly don't know. But even as I write this I can feel the sadness in my eyes. I feel the tears forming. I feel the urge to cry. I refuse. I am stronger than that. I cannot let my emotions run my life. I have to be an adult and suck it up. Whatever we had was not meant to be more. You know what, fuck it. I'm done pouring my heart out. No one is listening. No one reads this shit. It's fuckin pointless. My heartache isn't amusing.. it isn't entertaining. There is no lesson to be learned from this. It's just life. Listen, no matter how hard you love someone, you can't make them LOVE you back. You cannot force someone to care about you as much as you care about them. That's the lesson I had to learn. I may be sad for now.. even a bit bitter, but I refuse to go back. Why try to force someone to be with you? Why settle for just being someone he can fuck whenever he's horny. I'm done being his little whore. He made me feel like scum. Dirty. Worthless. Some days I honestly woke up wanting to die. Wishing that I would slip into an eternal sleep just so I wouldn't have to face reality. Spent many nights drinking alone. Refused to face reality. But now I am ready to move on.