Sunday, May 22, 2011

All Up In My Feelings, Texas

"Cuz I can't forget your ways.. I still remember our first kiss" -- Tweet [Smoking Cigarettes]
I could write a fucking Odyssey like epic poem based on how I'm feeling right now. I can't believe I'm still here and this is the final outcome. Believing what he told me even though his actions clearly said otherwise. Holding on by a fucking microscopic thread... while he didn't even fight for me. He got what he wanted. It wasn't me obviously. I'm an adult so I can admit it. Bee did not win this round, this fight. Another knock out. And frankly, I don't want to fight anymore... I don't want to think about what could have been or what we had. He must really LOVE her and not me. That's the hardest thing to get. He doesn't care about me. AT all. I'm just another. Simply another. I need to just start over.. but I don't want to. "I did it all for love, I did it ALL. I traded it all for ya, I traded all" There honestly wasn't one measly thing that I wouldn't and didn't do for him. If he asked, & it was within my grasp-- el fin. No questions. But now he has to think about me whenever he listens to his music, looks in his mirror.. wears that hat---- yea its ALL me. I did that. And all I ever wanted was a thank you. Just a simple thank you. *sigh*
At the end of the day, we just want to feel wanted, needed, & loved. If you can't make me feel that way then why hold on?
Just stuck on the fact that he didn't even try to fight for me.. my love was worthless to him.

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