Saturday, December 3, 2011


On November 30, 2011 my heart was broken into a million pieces. Those million pieces were then sat on fire. Then those ashes were thrown around and are nowhere to be found. My heart is gone. My love is lost. I have nothing more to give. WHY did I have to give all of me like that? I feel so stupid that at one point I was even begging & pleading for him to STAY. Even after he told me he didn't want to be in a relationship anymore with anyone & wanted to fuck around--- I was trying to convince him that I was all he needed. Wait, what? Did my dumb ass just ignore everything he said...? I hate myself right now. How can you tell someone that you love them but don't mean it? How can you tell me that you like me so much & that you care about me sooooo much but you just want to be able to fuck whoever? And the fact that you could possibly have another baby on the way????? WTF?!

Where does that leave me? I was stupid. I was dumb. I admit it. I was trash. I deserve to be hurt. I saw the signs, but I thought that if you gave me a chance I could somehow save you from yourself.

I was always there. ALWAYS.

So what do I do now? I learn to love myself again. I try to move on. I don't think I'll ever let another guy in like that though. He has officially ruined me for the next guy. I cried so much that night. I was overcome with sadness.

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