Saturday, March 3, 2012

Texas Independence Day

Today is Texas Independence Day.. & I almost feel like my heart is independent from him. Almost. I am trying to become the best me man. And that can only come if I am free from him. 100%. Why am I still somewhat attached. We tried the love thing. Didn't work. Tried the friends only thing. Didn't work. Even tried to mix sex with friendship-- & that failed miserably. I eventually grew tired of things. I felt horrible forever. So much other shit I HAD to deal with... on top of bullshit involving him. I reached the breaking point. I let go. He let go first though. I can admit that. I just made it all official. I am trying to go 30 days without contacting him. It takes 30 days to get over someone.... i heard at least. So this is day.. 6? Yes. Almost a week. It's crazy. Let's go.

So is today MY physical Independence Day? I mean, it definitely isn't a mental one. Ah. I cannot wait until March 25th. That will be the true test. Until then. No more.

It's rather strange... I've not really been communicating with anyone lately. No men. Barely communicating with my friends. Slowly becoming me again though. I need this break away from people so bad. If I only I could tell you EVERYTHING that has been going on with me. Damn. I tried though. I tried my best. I gave it all I had. You cannot say I didn't do that. When I'm there, I'm all in. I'm not even heartbroken. I'm just here.

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