Saturday, February 26, 2011

Mommy Dearest

Today I will not post pictures of me & my friends out and about at parties or the bar... I don't think I will ever post party pics again, unless its hair related. I don't want to become that blogger that only blogs about the bland shit she does & tries to make it seem like she's having such a vivid time out here in these streets. I've become that blogger though. I don't even blog about my escapades or nightly shenanigans anymore. I've lost my spark! I'm not even sure anyone reads this mess anymore. *taps mic* Hello?! See! Nobody.

Today will be a new day. I will rekindle the blogging flame and get back to what I love doing. THIS!

I've gained alot of weight dude. Its because I work at freaking walmart and i'm always finding new things to try.. and the deli is so conveniently placed nearby the break room. I have NO time to work out. I'm always working--- well not today. I called in. Personal reasons. Basically I didnt have a ride. *sigh* Yeah. I desperately need a car. I don't really talk to my mother much because she was charging me outlandish amounts of money to take me to work everyday... Like over $100 a month & we dont even stay that far away from my job. She also borrowed money from me, never paid me back yet went to the Casino the same week. She's been twice & has yet to reimburse me. How in the world am I supposed to save for a car, save for my apartment if people are always taking money from me?! Its not even her fault. She's so far up her disgusting husband's ass she does whatever he says. He wanted her to kick me out numerous times before. Well she has kicked me out a few times in the last year or so. I think it all started when I decided to leave Spelman. She really doesn't understand that what I want to do with my life has nothing to do with Spelman. Great institution, just not for me right NOW. And its not like she was sending me money while I was there... but that's another story... See now this blog is turning into something else. I just had an epiphany. I am who I am because of my mother. I love her. I truly do, but I can't agree with what she's doing right now.
My mother was always the cool mother. Younger than all my friends. Free. Dressed however. Did whatever. One of those women who didn't care about the opinions of others.. yet she always picked the wrong men. Because of her, I always pick the wrong men. I didn't really know it but its true... She met her new husband like two years ago and now he's actually ruling over her. She has to talk to him 24/7. If she's not at work, she's talking to him. She can't go anywhere without him. If she doesn't answer, he has to know WHERE she was & why she didn't pick up. Ugh. I so wish I could say more but I don't want to put all of mother's business out there...... Just know that she has horrible relationships with men and that has trickled down to little ol' me. I can't really blame it all on her, but if all I've learned from her is what I don't want or need out of a relationship, how am I supposed to function as an adult woman in the dating world?

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