I Don't Date Men With Children

As I grow older I am learning how to be more vocal about what I really want.

Of course for years I had convinced myself that I wanted certain things because I was conditioned to believe that was all I could have. I didn't let myself think that I could actually have everything that I wanted in regards to men and relationships with men. I believed that I'd have to settle for whatever was good enough instead of what was perfect for me. I had to find a fixer upper instead of my dream man.

Why is that?

Today while randomly scrolling my Facebook timeline I came across a post from some guy who was in my inbox and it mentioned how he had a bunch of kids. Somehow that triggered me to be slightly shady and post my quarterly reminder to all men who may be interested in pursuing me that I did not date men with kids.

Usually, I add a bonus comment on how I hate kids (which I don't-- I just like to ruffle the feathers of my Facebook friends because it's fun and I'm bored while scrolling) but this time I just kept it cute and sweet. Of course someone had to ask me why and when I simply reiterated my initial comment that I just don't date men with kids, she decided to give unsolicited advice on some age limit that was acceptable when dating a daddy.

Girl.

Why do I have to make exceptions for men who would never grant that same luxury to me?

 I just don't want to date a man with kids. I want to have all of his attention. I want to be courted. I want my weekends to be kid free and not feel like I'm babysitting. I want what I want.

It's not like these men have one kid. No ma'am. These fuckers have multiple kids with different women- many of whom they never had an actual relationship with. So I'm just supposed to accept Mr.  irresponsible dick because I'm approaching 30 & apparently I need to lower my standards before I end up 40 and still single and childless? Funny.

These same men that you women are so gung-ho on me giving a chance wouldn't even look your way unless they needed a place to stay OR wanted a piece of income tax return.  Women are conditioned to take whatever seemingly nice guy that comes their way because allegedly having a piece of man is better than having no man at all.

Girl, bye.

Betty Wright wasn't right with that one.

We are not our mothers and grandmothers. We don't have to accept whatever comes our way because we fear being alone.

I spent years settling for the bottom of the barrel, ain't shit, disrespectful, lame excuses for men because I did not want to be single. The label of being was seen as a sign that I was somewhat damaged goods and no one wanted me. Now I'm at a point in my life where I know that settling gets you nowhere. If I don't like something, why waste time trying to make it work?

My preference is just that- MY PREFERENCE. Men speak out constantly about not wanting to draw women who wear weave/wigs or makeup. They don't want to date women who show too much skin. They only date skinny or petite women. They don't like women who smoke or go out. These are all preferences that we just accept.

But as soon as I say I don't date men with kids it's a problem? Cute.

Well y'all continue dating baby daddy's. I prefer not to.

And if I meet a dope as guy tomorrow who just so happens to have a kid from a previous relationship and I decide to date him--- that's that. And I'll be here to write about what made him so special that I didn't mind the kid-1-singular.

Wigs

So... I started wearing wigs instead of getting sewins because I'm HORRIBLE will keeping a style for that long. Versatility is fun. I'm tired of dyeing and cutting my real hair (which is still natural). 

Oh yea, my makeup skills have improved SO much. Dropping niggas who don't like you wearing hair & makeup will do wonders for your face. I'm just trying to continue to glow in 2017. 

I realized that I have virtually no current pics on this here blog. Damn. 

It's mainly due to the fact that I'm always blogging via my iPhone 6s+ and I rarely hop my ass on my laptop.

Here's my face though. If you want makeup details and all that jazz I guess I can review products too even though people rather watch youtube tutorials. I aint got a fancy camera, lighting and cute backdrops yet so there's that. 

Enjoy.

Outre Tess

Brazilian Curly 

Brazilian body wave

Freetress Kitron

#Celibacy2017

5 years ago i vowed to be celibate the entire year of 2012. I didn't even last a month.

This year is different, I think. I was watching random interviews on youtube and kept stumbling across Meagan Good talking about how she was celibate before meeting and marrying her now husband. 

And then I began questioning my own reasons for having sex.

Why? It feels good. I enjoy it. But does it make me a better person? Am I ok without it? Am I just obsessed with the dick/sex and not the person attached to it?? 

So after many failed attempts at love, the fact that Trump is getting rid of abortion, and birth control will no longer be free, my ass has decided to be celibate. I guess.

I guess, because I may be writing to you later on to tell you that I changed my mind. Or that I'm secretly married just to have sex. You never know with me.

It has been 26 days since I've had sex. The last time was pretty great too.

I miss it. I'm horny af. I get annoyed by everyone and everything. My old flings still want my ass.

I've lost some weight though. Maybe i'll work out instead of having sex. I doubt that will work but oh well.

Anywho, I have nothing else to say. I think I'm gonna turn this into the celibacy chronicles... Maybe blogging again will be more interesting now that I crave dick I can't have. 

Peace.

oh yea. I have a podcast coming out this year. If you want me on your show, you know where to reach me. Well... yea whatever. 

Loved & Lost Again

I was certain that He was the one. But as always I was loud and wrong. I just knew I had met my King. He made me feel beautiful when others made me feel like I was nothing special. Grabbed handfuls of my flaws and stared my insecurities in the eyes and said "I love this".
He kissed away my fears. He wiped away tears. And then as fast as he came, he was gone. My King was gone. Found another Queen like he had done a few times before. Gave me way less when I wanted more.

But if he doesn't love me, then who will? Am I destined to be alone forever? Without him, who am I?

So I lost my King to the same bitch I once took him from. I guess my love wasn't really what he wanted. Karma. She is forever kicking my ass. Karma. She will forever make her sweet presence known.

Oh well. His family loved her even when he thought I could be a replacement. I should have ran away when he said that he didn't think he wanted to get married. Or when he said he didn't know if he wanted to have kids or not. But when he asked if I would be ok with that, I lied and said I would.

But that's Brittney. Always willing to sacrifice her wants for just a smidgen of happiness. So did I really lose? Am I unhappy? Is she better than me? Is he better off without me? Will I move on? Why can't I cry? I guess I'm just done... or am I really numb? Better than being dumb.