So I tried the Diva Cup

I have never been a fan of pads. I thought it was gross to be sitting in blood all day. So I went to tampons fairly early. Yet still there were issues with leaks and after reading the insert in the box on toxic shock syndrome-- I was terrified. Wtf was I inserting inside my vagina monthly?? Buying multiple sizes. Not knowing if I was still in my heavy flow stage or if a regular absorbency would suffice. Running to change my tampon every couple of hours so I won't have leaks because it's difficult to take multiple breaks when you work at a prison (so glad those days are over). It was just a hassle. So last year I had a last minute trip planned for the weekend to visit my bae... and my period came outta nowhere. So I googled how to get it to end earlier and it all worked but I ended up buying some indeed softcups to use during sex because I was definitely getting the dick that weekend! $600 flight? Oh bitch. And guess what they worked MAGICALLY. And were disposable. 😅😅😅 Crisis averted. Period sex can happen... But this ain't about those softcups. This is about...

The Diva Cup. 

I'm sure you've seen the commercials and thought "why would I stick that inside myself l?" Or are just freaking out about something foreign-- as if tampons and dicks are any less foreign, but no need for the dramatics. Your pussy will love you after this. 

So tips. Make sure you insert the cup properly. The box and website both include instructions on insertion that you must follow in order to have a pleasant experience. The magical trick is to rotate the cup 360 degrees to create a suction. This prevents leaks. If you don't... you might have a crime scene in your panties. 🤷🏾‍♀️ 

Pros-

• No smell. Yea... you can't smell anything while the cup is inside. I know! How amazing. 

• Can keep the cup inside for up to 12hrs. This means you can sleep 😴 with it. Take a very long flight without having to change it. Very convenient. Your life doesn't have to pause because you need to change your tampon. Very handy if there's not a restroom nearby. 

• saves you money! Now the website suggested retail price is $39.99 BUT since I fucks with Amazon prime--- You can get the Diva Cup for $23.88. Boom. Free shipping with Prime. Get it. Save your coins. And it lasts about a year... maybe longer but $20 a year vs $9 for a box of tamping every month or so. 

• Shorter Cycle. Since all of the blood is freely flowing into the cup and NOT being plugged inside it appears that my period is a day shorter. Idk why. Or how. But yea girl. From 5 days to 4.

Cons

• You can't have sex. If you want to have mess free sex while on your period, try Indeed Softcups. 

• You have to empty it out and clean it yourself. Yea I know some of you are like gross blood- I have to clean it out then insert it again?! Yup. You do. Which is why I've only changed it out at home. I guess if you're out and about you could use a wipe or something but I'd just plan to be back home in 12hrs. 

• Insertion can be difficult. You have to fold it in have and make sure your grip is firm enough so the darn cup doesn't open up like an umbrella 🌂 against my labia and freaks me out because I'm trying to push the whole thing inside and it just won't fit 🤦🏾‍♀️ I have to be sitting on the edge of my bed in order to put the cup in. Maybe you can do it while squatting or propping a leg up on the toilet but the way my thighs are set up--- yea, I need to brace myself. 

That's really it. It's comfortable as hell. I forgot I was on my period. Not really having cramping. Not fearing about having all those toxic chemicals in tampons inside my vagina. Oh and the Diva Cup has lines for measuring the amount of fluid inside the cup. It holds up to 1/2 oz and I've noticed on my heavier days I'm just under the 1/4 oz line after 12hrs. The first day was literally half of that. It's really cool to be able to measure how much blood you lose each cycle. 

Try it out. Lemme know if you're joining the club. Or share your horror stories. 

#Celibacy2017

5 years ago i vowed to be celibate the entire year of 2012. I didn't even last a month.

This year is different, I think. I was watching random interviews on youtube and kept stumbling across Meagan Good talking about how she was celibate before meeting and marrying her now husband. 

And then I began questioning my own reasons for having sex.

Why? It feels good. I enjoy it. But does it make me a better person? Am I ok without it? Am I just obsessed with the dick/sex and not the person attached to it?? 

So after many failed attempts at love, the fact that Trump is getting rid of abortion, and birth control will no longer be free, my ass has decided to be celibate. I guess.

I guess, because I may be writing to you later on to tell you that I changed my mind. Or that I'm secretly married just to have sex. You never know with me.

It has been 26 days since I've had sex. The last time was pretty great too.

I miss it. I'm horny af. I get annoyed by everyone and everything. My old flings still want my ass.

I've lost some weight though. Maybe i'll work out instead of having sex. I doubt that will work but oh well.

Anywho, I have nothing else to say. I think I'm gonna turn this into the celibacy chronicles... Maybe blogging again will be more interesting now that I crave dick I can't have. 

Peace.

oh yea. I have a podcast coming out this year. If you want me on your show, you know where to reach me. Well... yea whatever. 

Twelve Midnight

Need I say how I feel right now? I think you get the picture. I have a plan to woohoo in the morning before I go to work.. I think. I hate mornings. I wanted to plan something for spring break but i realized that I'm a new worker. Grrrr... Megan wanted me to go to Vegas or Miami with her. SMH. I can't though. I promised that my next flight would be to NYC by any means necessary. I gotta see the homie.lover.friend... or whatever he is now. He has to see my new boobs. Oh, Did i tell you guys that I have big boobs now?

Yea, 34D. Not only do I have cakes & yams.. I have pillows too. :)

Is it bad that I'd fly to ny for some great sex and awesome conversation? I don't care.. Obviously been missing out on some goodness. *sigh* I'm a ticking time bomb right now......

Speaking of sex..

Peace.

Things Guys Do That Annoys Me

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Less Talk, More Head

This is how I felt last night. Unfortunately I got ALL talk & no head. Ugh. He tried to kiss me too. For some normal reason I couldn't kiss him. Head turned. This always happens. I really wanted peen too. *sigh* but I guess I can settle for October? Yes. 

I Need Some Action

Other than Boombastic this is one of the only songs I remember singing as a kid (in the Reggae genre). I mean everyone knows "I need some action, tender satisfaction.. my chemistry is flowing can you cause a chain reaction?" I have no idea what the guy is singing as with MOST reggae songs. *sigh* If only Islands boys weren't so crazy I'd have me one a them right now.

But anywho, I'd like to say that I need some action. Like really, I need some action. Its been how long since I've had some good good?? Yeah. Forever and a day. This can't be the life! How hard is it to find a nice young man who can provide me with an adequate supply of orgasms? smh.

Pornstar Pinky is a Rapper??

"Ima bad bitch. Yes ima bad bitch. Why you mad at me cuz you aint got no ass bitch?!" - Pinky

lmao. I fucks with that ONE line because I support Fuckery that goes along the lines of "Yes I'm bad & I have an ass.. That's why yall hoes don't like me. You don't have an ass! Hahahahahahaha"
Pinky's 4'11"?? well she's damn near a midget. They all have fat asses. Yes, i'm dry hating. But I mean, she can call herself a bad bitch if she wants to I guess.

S.E.X

I wish I would have waited for true love before I lost my virginity and not just a guy I liked. You live and you learn. Looking back I feel stupid. I knew better but I just didn't want to listen to anyone because I wanted to make my own decisions. Silly little girl. We've all been there. Liked guys based on their popularity, how they looked and how many other girls were jealous that I was chosen by him. If sex would keep his eyes on me then that was what it was. Dumb. Silly. Waste of time.



Life’s a trip
Virgin just turned 17 and finally got some hips
Hustlers on the block go crazy when you lick ya lips
But they just want relation
They don’t want relationship
(welcome to the real world)
It ain’t the same
Fellas old enough to be ya daddy know ya name
Everybody's talking bout how much that girl done changed
Can’t quite put ya finger on it
But you feelin strange
Like it's fire in your veins

[Chorus:]
Girl it’s just your
S.E.X.
Mama's secret
And daddy gone go crazy when he finds out that his baby’s found her
S.E.X.
Take a deep breath
And think before you let it go (let it go)

The block is packed
Baby gotta attitude and proud to holla back
Momma’s givin advice but she ain’t tryna hear that
Not because it's wrong, just her delivery is wack
(Shay get ya behind in this house, if I see you with another boy, I swear)
Life is rough,
You say that you’re not ready for sex, but you’re in love
He says if you’d really loved him, you would give it up
Mama says that’s just a line guys use to get ya stuff
Which one will you trust?

Eh yo Lyfe, she may take it better coming from a woman (Give it to her)
See he’ll tell you all kind of things to get in your pants, yeah
Baby it’s a fact, that once it’s gone (it's gone) you’ll never get it back (never get it back)
Hold on, to your innocence
Use your common sense
You’re worth waiting for (you’re worth waiting for)
Be strong
Honey don’t give in
Blessing come with patience
Until we meet again, I’m praying, for you

No One Chills at 2am

Boys. I've BEEN over them. Why are they still on me though? Like, yes I'm a NICE girl. I love to converse with you via facebook chat and occasionally tweet you or "lol" on one of your status updates.. Hell I may even text you from time to time-- this does not mean that I will be that girl who decides to "chill" with you at 2:30am. How old am I? Yea I've BEEN there and DONE that. I'm talking you're still on high school game? So not your "late night hype" type.

Boys are so stupid. I used to entertain the nonsense. I used to come over at 2am and then act "surprised" when he tried to kiss on me or give me a massage *eye roll*. OR I'd invite them over to my place and have on "Memoirs of a Geisha" and make them watch it, then expect them to leave when its over. Hehehe.

Now, I don't even bother. Shut em completely down. I mean you can't even tell a guy "I'll come over to chill but Im not trying to hook up" anymore. They think you're just playing hard to get. Ugh. Whatever! I'm not playing. I don't wanna smell your saliva all over my body. Gross.

No one chills at 2am. NO ONE! If you're not planning on having sex, stay at home in your bed- alone!

Fuck My Exes

My love life sucks. Not because of the people in it presently (or lack there of) but mainly because of my PAST relationships. My exes seem to all want to string me along for the ride. I know you're thinking, "how many exes does Miss "I'm always single" have?" Well about a handful. None of my relationships lasted long so they all seem to be a blip in my mind until they try to reconnect. They're all supposedly in "love" now and so devoted to their current girlfriends but somehow they still want to bang me.

Yes, Bee--- I can't be their girlfriend now. I'm too much. But for some strange reason you keep coming back wanting to "see" me, wanting pics of me, wanting to smash the homie, wanting to see  how I am. Blah blah blah. I am your EX. I wasn't what you wanted or needed so you chose someone else.. WHY are you still on me? I don't even entertain it anymore. smh. carry the hell on.

I could so ruin or cause a strain if I forwarded these texts to your wifey but I won't. I'm erasing them. Fuck unsuspecting girlfriends who don't do shit when they find out their man is creeping because they really can't see themselves alone so they rather stick with a cheater. *sigh* You deserve him with your dumbasses.

Hair Pulling

Haven't written anything linking to sex in quite some time. So someone was doing a stupid #tt about sex no nos or something lame and it said "dont pull on my hair".. I thought for a millisecond and said "I dnt mind u gently pullin on my hair cuz its mine but umm yall dudes get too rough & my hairline & scalp is fragile." 

I don't know why dudes want to pull on my hair. Its not weave but its still MY hair. If I had a sew in I wouldn't mind you pulling it, im not feeling shit but if its a quickweave/glue in, or my natural fro, you must be careful. One dude gripped my bangs and pulled as hard as he could I had to hit him and use my deep "androgynous" voice so he'd stop. NO. That hurts like hell and I be damned if I have bald spots or a hairline like Naomi Campbell's because of you wanting to be too aggressive and yank my freaking hair out.

Be gentle.

Dating?!

I am the reason why I am single. I am the sole reason. Just me and no one else.
I was ‘supposedly’ talking to this guy but I kinda figured that after I turned down his offers for sex and I told him “No, I don’t want to spend the night with you- but I’ll spend the day” & he declined, it was kind of OVER.
I do this on purpose. I know that you don’t really want to be with me and that the only reason you put up with my shenanigans is that you think you’re gonna get some pussy. NO. I let you eat it, and you did a decent job but you had to masturbate to get yourself off afterwards because I am NOT the one.
Please, try another because this chick right here?! She’s been there and DONE that. Haven’t heard from your bitch ass in a week. Suck my dick bitch, and move around.

Wack Sex..

The last couple of times I have had sex it has been horribly wack. Yes, I said it- WACK! I'm talking so bad I don't even wanna wait for him to finish. I just say "Okay, I'm done.. bye." Yea that bad. The reason may not even be him,.. I'm sure its probably just the fact that I don't actually like him like that or maybe its just I'm too caught up in something else that I can't focus on him or the sexual intercourse. I'm so fed up with not being satisfied. I rather just go cold turkey. I think I do this every summer. I don't talk to any guys right now. I'm not lonely though. I do still have my friends but NO SEX.

Too bad that the person that I want has cut me off completely. Mentally, physically. Might be for the best. I honestly don't want to think about that one at all anymore. I bet I will though....

Mayne

I like being able to do shit and nobody knows it but me. My business is my business. Not having to tell a so called friend who I screwed and have to hear those stupid ass rants on how I deserve better and I can't just give up my cakes like that and blah blah blah.

Look. I know what I'm doing. If I want casje woohoo I will do it. If I want more I will pursue it. El fin.

That's why I like being able to live and nobody judge me. I mean, it wouldn't matter but damn.. it feels GOOD.

If I say "I feel like doing some ho activities with ho tendencies" don't raise your brows at me. I'm only kidding. But if I do feel like smashing & dashing/hitting & quitting/pound then move around/lick then split/cut & duck/ shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid that's my business. Hell I aint hurting nobody but my damn self if even that.

Fuck Men

*warning: this post may contain male bashing..*

So I've set my mood for the day.. and the weekend. FUCK MEN.. YOU CAN ALL DIE.. SLOWLY. Why do I feel this way?? Oh can we just say that men only want one thing.. they try to mask their true wants and desires with the false hopes of a 'relationship' OR they throw up this stupid notion of "hey lets talk" when they know good and damn well I don't do talking. Either we're together or we're not. No complicated relationship here. Just tell me whats REAL. Tell me how you FEEL. Do you want me? Do you need me? Do you like me? What do you want from me?! That's all I want to know... 


If you just want woohoo- let me know. Don't try to tell me you miss me at 12am and want to come through and see me when I know the truth is that you just want to come by and get the goodies. Don't use that tired ass excuse "We're grown.." either. Yes I know we're grown but that doesn't mean that I am so grown I don't deserve to be treated like the princess father brought me up as. Since we are grown we should engage in grown up conversation about grown up things.. not only woohoo. 


It's my own fault though. I know I just ooze sex appeal *side eye* and that my constant flirting can make it seem like I desire you sexually. The truth is I don't need your penis. Your tongue? Well that's another story. We can get the tongue any time any place. Your penis? Ew.. I'd rather masturbate.


fuck men!

By Any Means Necessary..

Pro Mastie.
Masturbation relieves menstrual cramps.
Masturbation eases some of the symptoms of PMS.
Masturbation relieves depression.
Masturbation is an effective, natural cure for insomnia.
Why wouldn't you masturbate??

I Hate This Song..

Sideline Ho - Monica.



Like I've said a bazillion times before.. A man will only do what you allow him to do. She may be the "sideline ho" but you're both being PLAYED! smh. I actually had a rebuttal to this song on myspace when the makings of me first came out.. lol. I hated this song. Still kinda do. Tis all. I'm getting upset just thinking about it. "doesn't matter if he spends the night his home is somewhere else.." Umm Monica, if he is spending the night with her that means that you are laying in YOUR bed cold & lonely while she is warm and snuggling up with YOUR man. Hmmmm.. Don't you feel stupid.

Really though?

If you text me saying to let you know if you're wasting your time trying to fuck me, & I say yes-- Why would you even bother hitting me up the following day? smh. I told him I wasn't gonna fuck him. Ever. I don't mind if you come at me sideways because I know how to handle myself in those situations. Shut them down quickly-- don't entertain the bull shit. If you ask me to come over and hang with you at NIGHT in your room/apartment/house/dorm.. I know that you are trying to fuck me. There is NO need to get there & you getting upset because you expected something to happen that didn't. I'm trying to help YOU guys out. smh

Reflections.

Growing up I looked up to the wrong people. My idols were older family members & friends who I thought were the way I should be. I wanted to be JUST LIKE THEM. They weren't smart. They didn't do anything inspiring. Nope. They just had fun & had the attention of every guy. I went through my awkward stage which I think every child goes through. Mine involved me being overweight & sort of dorky looking. Fat girl with glasses? Yup, that was me. Once I lost weight & begin to hit puberty I came into my own & I felt okay with the way I looked. I just wanted GUYS to look at me the way they looked at my step sisters & their friends/cousins.

They'd go out to the club & let me tag along using one of their friends IDs to get in. Before we'd go there I'd go through the long process of taking my hair out of the uniform high ponytail so that it swung down my back. My girlish clothing was traded in for something short, tight & revealing paired with some tall heels that made me feel sexy. Then I'd take off my glasses and pile on the makeup. I was blind as a bat but damn it I looked GOOD.

This started as a 'club' thing or just something i did when I hung out with my older sisters but eventually it made its way into my everyday wardrobe. I had platform boots, mini skirts, high splits, tight capris, tight jeans-- everything to make me STAND OUT. This would've been okay but I was only in the 8th grade! Traded in my glasses for contacts & thats all she wrote. Cut my hair. Got a relaxer. Became a cheerleader so that I could get EVEN closer to the guys. Practiced my walk daily to get it right. Had to make sure I had just enough swivel to catch the guys attention. & of course I did.

I was no longer the fat girl; the smart black girl; the chick with the glasses; marcus' little sister-- I was ME. I had my own identity. This is when all of the girls in my lil city began to hate me. The same year I gained some confidence I lost most of my 'friends'. Why? Because they said I thought I was all that. They were right. I did. I had to though.

I didn't mind. I had the attention from every dude in Huntsville. I'd walk through the hallways of HHS and everyone knew my name. Every guy wanted to fuck me. Some even wanted to date me. A select few did. *shrugs* It bee like that :).

I lived a double life. Still kept my grades up. Still was the smart black girl. I just had a lil oomph. Drinking. Smoking. Club hopping. Sex. Sneaking out. Lying. I did it all. No really, I did it all. By the time I graduated high school there really wasn't anything I hadn't tried.

Which is why at 21 I'm sort of burned out. I hate clubs. I drink to socialize, not to get drunk. I like to have fun but my idea of fun is now going to the zoo or aquarium (things I should have been enjoying as a child). I grew up too fast. I lost my virginity because I was told i should. Everyone was doing it. I just wanted to get it over with. Scheduled it with a random guy who I had knew for awhile.. He wasn't my boyfriend. Just a dude I was cool with. SMH.

I still use my strut to get guys attention.. I just wish I would've waited a little longer to do things. I wish I would have only had sex with guys I had a real genuine relationship with and not just a guy who I like or thought was cute or who just happened to be around when I was horny or just because I saw he had a big peen. *sigh*. I wish I would have only had sex with the guy I loved.

I should have waited. So to all of my sisters, my real younger sister & all of the others who may read this: It may look fun now but looking back you'll see that you missed out on your youth.. You missed out on having FUN. You grew up too fast. You don't have to have sex with him to keep him. If he leaves you because you won't give him any, then its HIS loss. You're worth way more than that. You don't have to yearn to be grown up because you WILL be a grown up one day. Sex will not keep a man or make some guy like you. He will like your sex, but not really you. I just wish somebody would have told me that when I was 15. Instead I'm here telling you to WAIT.

Complicated My Ass..

If I ever have to put "its complicated" about any relationship I'm in on here, I think I'd go back to just being "single". Either we're together or we're not. That doesn't seem too complicated to me.. I think that some people are just so pressed to be in a relationship that they'd take a piece of man. Like Betty said "Having a piece of man is better than having no man at all--" 

I don't believe that at all. If he isn't 100% with me, why bother? Why on earth would you even put "Its Complicated" about your relationship with a person-- especially when in the very beginning? Did you guys not discuss it yet? Are they technically still with someone else? If that's the case then its an "open relationship" which is just as bad if not worse.

I refuse to share. I refuse to settle. I rather be single that have a half ass relationship just for the sake of not being ALONE.

Get your priorities straight. These are probably the same people who look down upon me because I have no problem with having casual sex if I feel the urge to. To those people I say: At least I'm not hanging on to the tiniest hope that its more than what it is. When I have casual sex, I know its just sex. I'm not hoping it turns into more.. (most of the time). 

I'm not perfect but still... Yall hoes are silly.