Thursday, December 4, 2008

Stupid little girl..

Curled up underneath cold white bed linens...
By Myself. Story of my life. Lonely.
My phone vibrates. I check it. Its not him.
Again, vibration. Could it be him? No.
Fuck it. I'll text him... Will he text me back?
Who knows. He says i'm bi-polar.. Maybe.
He thinks i'm crazy. Psychotic. Strange. Weird.
Me thinks i'm crazy. Psychotic. Strange. Weird.
Trainwreck in the morning. Afternoon? BITCH.
Alas! He texts: Want me to come over?
Duh, I respond. "I'm outside". Damn thats fast.
Cuddled up with him beneath the stars. I like.
Twenty Minutes later he's gone again.
I lay alone in my bed. Depressed. Hurt.
So sad. Lonely. Why me I ask? Again?
Collapsed to the ground. I whimper. Cry. Weep.
Twenty Minutes later he texts once more.
"How do you feel?" he asks.. Can't find the words.
What do you mean? Pause. Wait. No response. Damn.
Stupid little girl. Stupid little girl.

-- I wrote this because.. Every now and then I feel like a stupid little girl. All week I've been screaming out loud.. I don't wanna be without you babe/ I don't want a broken heart.. Listening to Beyonce had me feeling like I had this ego and i was a diva.. but still i'm just a stupid little girl. NO DIVA. Ain't got a big EGO at all. So insecure. So stupid. I know I am smarter than that. Now I should be wiser. Oh well. At least it makes for good writing. No more tears. I think I cried my last tear.

1 comment:

Leatrice said...

Remember that love is not supposed to be this hard and you deserve more than 20 minute intervals.