I cried today. Not like real tears.. but the worst kind of crying when you are so torn up inside that your body cant even produce a tear or utter a sound. Yea that's exactly how I was. Men always make me forget how strong I am when they play with my emotions. Maybe not even "play" with my emotions, but just tug at my heart strings. Okay maybe not really "tug" at my heart strings but have me open up. I can't open up because being hurt scares me. It never fails; everytime I am completely open my heart begins to break. Its crumbling as I type this.
WHY? you ask...
Well.. there was this guy, you know THAT guy. I was trying to be whatever he wanted me to be. Do whatever he wanted me to do.. Just so I could be "one with him". Hmmm.. Well after all these years I've realized taht we are still at this same place. I have to let go sometimes.. but its so hard to. I love him. He loves me (he says so at least..) but we can't be together. We never will. Ugh. Don't play with my emotions. Make a commitment or else.
I could be that girl who physically forces a guy to put a ring on it but I mean it isn't worth it if he still wants to go out and cheat. Age doesn't mean shit. It'll never change.
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