Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Falling All Over Love

Whenever I hear someone say they love me, I get this weird feeling in my chest. My heart begins to pound faster & faster... & so hard that I can almost see it coming through my skin. I feel a little light headed; I get nervous. I start to fidget a lot. My hand will not stop trembling. I'm at the edge of either crying or screaming out in joy.. anguish.. pain? Its a strange combination. All of these feelings balled up into one. I can't handle it.

Even when I read those words I feel this way. I'm deathly afraid of falling in love.

Last night, I had a moment. I begin to write a song in my head. I wrote it on my phone. Falling all over love. Not in love, or out of love. Falling ALL OVER LOVE. I want to fall all over love. Do you know what I mean?

I want to have that kind of love where I am still myself, & he is still himself.. and when we come together we form a union that is so strong, you can FEEL the love just by looking at us. I do not want to lose myself and become a part of him as in falling IN love or him to do the same with me. NO. We should fall all over one another and shower ourselves with our love.

I want to feel light headed every single time I kiss him. I want to shiver whenever he is near me. I want to be able to LOVE. I want to LOVE. I'm waiting to LOVE. To think of him & only him. To see all of my past flings & lovers and to not even flinch because he is the only man who makes my heart feel this way.

Just writing this has given me that feeling. That overwhelming feeling. When I think of LOVE he comes to mind. Oh how I wish this could be something..

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