Friday, March 19, 2010

I'm Pretty freakin Awesome

Is today my Fuck Love day? I've noticed that I've been in that mood lately. Everything that I'm writing reflects that. I try so hard to tell myself that I don't mind being single, & I honestly hate it. I try to make myself believe that I know I'll find love eventually but I don't believe that shit either. I say that I don't care if a guy thinks that what I do is unattractive. I do care, I just choose not to change my habits for the shear "potential" of making one guy more likely to find me a tad bit more attractive. One guy said I talk about sex too much & that's why I'm single. One guy said smoking is unattractive. Another guy said he liked women with french manicures. Some other dude told me he likes when women dress up. Another doesn't like weave. One doesn't like makeup. Some guys hate my natural hair. Others love it. Some say I look better with long hair.. but they don't like weave?

I can't please everyone so why try to please one? I think that I'm pretty much pleased with myself.

I got a formspring hate comment from some chick who told me that I have low self esteem. That I always talk about how I love my body but then again I'm trying to lose weight & talking about diets and shit. To whoever that person is-- Fuck you. If I had low self esteem I wouldn't post pictures of me looking superbly busted. I wouldn't have any flawed photos online of myself. I do. I accept my imperfections and I love it. Yes, I have stretch marks on my hips. I have a pudge. My boobs aren't as perky as they used to be. My ass is outrageously huge. My waist isn't 25inches like it was in high school. I have a few dark spots on my forehead from popping pimples. I always break out along my hairline which is why I usually have bangs. I have a tiny gap between my two front teeth which just so happen to be a bit bucked. I hate pedicures. I never wear belts so you can normally see a bit of crack when i sit down. I'm nearly blind.

I mean, there is sooo much wrong with me that I see but I don't care! I love my body!! I love the jiggle in my ass to the clawed stretch marks on my hips. That still won't stop me from wearing a two piece or showing the world my stomach. I flaunt my imperfections. I know I'm beautiful. I don't need validation. Thats not a self esteem issue. That's just me being real. Of course I'd love to have abs or a firm ass. I'm human. I'd also love to have Double D's, never have morning breath and a big ass dose of energy. LOL. Thats all.

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