Wednesday, August 11, 2010

You Can't Break Up A Happy Home...

Everyone is labeled a homewrecker these days. We've all heard the story of the poor wife sitting at home with the kids only to find out that her husband has cheated on her with another woman.. We all feel so sorry for the wife. We instantly are told to hate the other woman. We only know ONE side of the story and of course the wife can manipulate the story anyway she can. She'll proclaim how she worked so hard to keep her marriage together but she was unsuccessful because of some whore who came and took him away. 

I on the other hand can look at the situation from different angles. I have been the other woman before- both knowingly and unknowingly. Sometimes I merely didn't care to ask if he had a girlfriend because I believe that you're single until you're married. Other times I knew before hand but me and him were only friends.. who just so happened to like each other. 

What do you do when you're falling for your best friend but you still love the person you're with? See tough situation. You never know the true story behind a man leaving his wife to be with someone else or why a wife leaves her husband. Maybe they got married too soon or too young.. Maybe he fell out of love with her. Maybe she got bored with him. Maybe they weren't meant to be. I know that vows are "til death do us part" but many get married for the WRONG reasons so of course it's doomed to fail. 

If you were in a relationship that you knew wasn't working out, would you stay? Would you want to be unhappy for the rest of your life? I hope you say no. Sometimes its best to let go.

With that being said, I hate how everyone is going in on Gabrielle Union, Alicia Keys & Fantasia right now. If these women weren't "famous" their names wouldn't even be mentioned. No one would care. Do you know how long divorces take? Especially when there is money, property, businesses and children involved. It's not an "overnight process". You have to meet with lawyers, file paperwork-- its a lengthy process. So are you supposed to sit at home alone at night when you no longer want to be with your partner? No. You don't. You have to be HAPPY and move on for yourself. So of course if I meet someone new and I fall in love with them, I'm leaving my husband and I may start dating someone else before the ink is dried on the paper or the separation is legalized. 

I refuse to believe that any person can STEAL someone from another. That woman did not steal her man. That man will be with whoever he wants to be with. You can not break up a happy home. Its virtually impossible. No i'm not saying that its okay for you to go after a married person and deliberately try to start some shit.. I'm just saying things happen. We fall for who we fall for. You can't help it at times. 

So many people talk to me about their fledgling relationships (no they aren't trying to get with me or I with them). They tell me how they aren't happy. They are bored. Their partner doesn't want to do anything. All they do is argue. They're not sure if they love them. It's just lust or convenient. SMH. Why would you want to hurt someone by letting them feel that everything is okay when its not? Why won't you be 100% honest and let them know it isn't working so you both can move on? I don't get it. 

Honesty is the best policy. Don't cheat. I'm just saying WE don't know the truth about Gabby, Alicia & Fanny. Maybe they were told something and the wives heard something different. Maybe they didn't care. *shrugs* Who are we to judge? A person's character or personal life does not affect how I feel about their talents. Hell, I'm not Mrs. Morality my damn self. You can't break up a happy home. Thoughts?


Anonymous said...

I'ma go ahead and be honest. I'm knowingly fcuking a married man right now. That wasn't my intention from the start. We knew of each other from high school and ended up working in the same department recently. It started off as casual convo and joking around. Then it turned to flirting, and progressed to dirty talk via text message. I know, it sounds childish, but I liked the attention. I was still vulnerable from a breakup and was feeling lonely. He was unhappy at home, although I didn't realize how unhappy until much later. If I had known how emotionally needy he was, I probably would not have taken it there. In all honesty, my body needed the attention. I was looking for a physical relationship and nothing more. Now, 5 months later, we're both kinda caught up. His separation isn't legal, but he has his own apartment now. I said all of that to agree with you, you can't break up a happy home. He came looking for me, and I'm not the 1st affair that he's had. I know I am all kinds of wrong, and I take responsibility for my actions and I know I'll pay the consequences someday. The fact remains, if he was happy at home, I wouldn't be screwing his brains out on the regular.

Vividly Bland said...

I applaud you for your honesty and sharing your story. I know how it is. Happily married men don't cheat. He found the attention he was lacking at home in you. Of course the feelings aren't mutual since I bet he's looking for something more emotional and you're just looking for a physical thing, but he still is getting what he was missing. Once again, thank you for commenting.

♥ Bee