Thursday, July 15, 2010
Day 4 of Sobriety
I'm on a personal journey to rid my body & my life of toxic things. First one being alcohol. You'd think that after me falling on my face that ONE time, I'd stop drinking then. Pfft. Not at all. I've noticed that I can be drunk as hell at a party & still not have fun. I'll still feel alone in a crowd of people. I tried to take a shot of tequila as I do every weekend-- and it was if the alcohol was being rejected by my body. I never felt like throwing up as soon as a shot entered my mouth. My drinking days have to be over. I'm debating on whether I should say NO to drinking alllll together or if I should just only drink when I'm at dinner. Wine and mixed drinks aren't bad. Its tough. I need to be able to fully focus on myself, my life, and my goals. So much I want to do. So much I need to do. I just need a sign. There's so much more I'd love to say but the words seem to be too hard to type. My issues are deeper than you know. Its more than just getting drunk. Not even smoking anymore. After witnessing a mother & father get high in front of their two young children I can't do that anymore. I don't even have kids but I refuse to be known as a smoker or a drinker. There has to be more to life than THIS.